Friday, May 31, 2013

Eexecute plays Turok 2: Seeds of Evil - Part 6 of 51

Finally, we get that last Level 2 key and wrap this level up.

0:10 - Chipmunk time.

1:11 - End of chipmunk time.

1:32 - o hay a cutscene

3:01 - After meeting the Oblivion, we fight it head on. Oblivion won't play a major role until the third game, but that doesn't mean Oblivion is any more annoying here. They show up if you walk into the fake warp portal instead of the real one, but the good news is that if you finish them all off, you can get a piece of the Nuke Weapon (which is basically kinda like Turok 2's version of the now-destroyed Chronoscepter).

4:17 - DAT INTERMISSION CUTSCENE

4:36 - Another cutscene.

5:46 - You must defend the totem! The green bar is the totem's health, while the red bar belongs to the enemy force. If the red bar goes all the way down before the green one, you win!

7:01 - Not only does Eexecute unlock a cheat, we finally reach the Hub. Yes, this game also has a hub. How wonderful.

Eexecute plays Turok 2: Seeds of Evil - Part 5 of 51


I have a bad feeling about this video. I just know it...

0:22 - What better way to start this entry up with some crackshot arrow aiming?

1:06 - Eexecute begins a horrible climb up the tower, in which he gives up on aiming perfectly with the zoom capabilities of the bow and just busts a cap in his enemies. There's also an Ultra Health on the way up, which helps quite a bit here.

3:51 - Stupid wall.

5:29 - After hitting a switch, we find another key for Level 3. Also, you get to see up close and personal how detailed the Entrails are. That's pretty nifty for 1998 right there.

6:09 - The Compies are hard to hit with the pistol, but when one bullet from them kills them instantly, it's so worth it when you can aim, shoot them, and kill them without taking damage.

7:12 - Screw your cover, I have a bow with a zoom feature.

8:22 - After five videos, we've reached the end of Level 1. Eexecute's not done just yet, though, there's still stuff in the level to be found.

8:52 - Eexecute storms a building and destroys some more Entrails.

9:36 - Yet another Level 3 key...and then Eexecute finds out he missed another key for Level 2.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Eexecute plays Turok 2: Seeds of Evil - Part 4 of 51


Four levels in, and we're still on Level 1.

Yep, this is a big game.


0:14 - After taking a dive for some Life Force, Eexecute hits two switches.

0:44 - After some explosions, a switch in this decimated house.

0:54 - YOUR HEAD ASPLODE

1:04 - When I see this barrel, I'm so hitting it from this angle.

1:21 - Another switch, this time to lower a bridge.

2:32 - After a teleporter, Eexecute jumps on a rooftop to activate yet another switch.

3:28 - After watching this headless raptor amble around for a few seconds, Eexecute takes advantage of another respawn spot.

4:02 - The last of four children.

6:22 - For those of you who want to see that hilarious (albeit brief) intermission screen again, here it is.

9:40 - This is what happens to raptors who can't make up their minds.

10:02 - Another save portal here, in case you need it.

Eexecute plays Turok 2: Seeds of Evil - Part 3 of 51


 We see the Warp Portals for the first time.

0:18 - Another Level 2 key. Also, these things are jerks.

0:31 - A door opening by itself...no thanks to an Entrail that can self-destruct. Yeah, it's the first level and the game already wants to play hardball.

0:48 - One of the secrets in this level involves shooting these seagulls. Apparently you squirt all the blood out of them when they die. Doing this nets you...

1:46 - No, not that. But that still sounds cool, though.

1:50 - ...this. Ultra health and a bunch of 10 Life Forces (which are red in this game instead of purple). Unlike last time, where you could get 250 Health and a bunch of Tek Armor, you can only get up to 200 and Tek Armor doesn't exist.

2:27 - *tries not to think about it* Too late, I already did.

2:45 - ...and here we are. Adon explains the warp portals. You'll need to find five eagle feathers, bring them back here, and get a talisman for each one you successfully retrieve that protects you from a certain danger as well as gains you access to more of the game.

3:37 - Eexecute calls bullshit on not worrying about evil in the Warp Portals.

3:47 - Evil can't enter the Warp Portals, but they sure can respawn.

4:19 - Eexecute hits a switch and acquires the Tek Bow. Now you can shoot arrows at things and have them blow up...finally!

5:32 - Eexecute zooms straight for this guy's head...and behind him is a Level 3 Key. Also, Eexecute has some strange problem with removing the sniping crosshairs.

6:06 - DERP

6:49 - Not fast enough. Also, there's another Save Portal here.

7:04 - When he breaks a hole in the wall with an arrow to that explosive barrel, watch the hole in the wall. You'll see those Shotgun shells magically spawn; this is one of many respawning item spots in the game where you can recharge on just about every weapon you have (some weapon ammo won't respawn this way).

7:26 - Headshot.

8:10 - After htting a bunch of switch and forcefully splitting people in half with explosive shotgun shells...

9:22 - ...we save another child.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Eexecute plays Turok 2: Seeds of Evil - Part 2 of 51


We continue on through the first level and turn it into a bloody mess. This should be fun...

0:14 - We finally meet the raptors for the first time. The bow actually slows them down, so go ahead and use that. They run pretty fast and it makes me want to make a "Happy Raptor" joke for some reason...

1:38 - Shooting this barrel down blows up this guard tower.

2:00 - You'll find out how to get the shotgun soon enough.

2:05 - This guy never stood a chance. A lot of the enemies here really hate getting hit by the arrows. After that, Eexecute makes a joke involving both hedgehogs and echidnas.

Yes. Echidnas.

2:50 - The second power cell is right behind this barrel. Shoot it and you're done.

3:51 - These things can swim.

4:10 - I don't know how he managed to get that just right, but that was still hilarious.

4:36 - What begins as a straight up killing becomes harder than intended...

5:38 - Stop rolling, dummy.

6:24 - The last of the three power cells and distress beacons.

6:59 - LOL, infighting.

7:45 - We finally get the Shotgun. This gun is far more powerful than both the Bow and Arrow and the Pistol.

8:06 - The first save portal you'll see in the game. Accessing this will send you to Adon, who will refill your health and ammo once per level and will also let you save your game.

8:34 - More infighting, this time between an Entrail and a Raptor. You've seen another Entrail in the last round of infighting, but this time you get a clear view of their hand-to-hand combat skills.

9:17 - The second of four children.

Eexecute plays Turok 2: Seeds of Evil - Part 1 of 51


Yeah. You are indeed reading this correctly. This thing is going to be 51 videos long, making this the biggest one I've done so far.

Necromagenvion, I hope you're happy...this took quite a bit of effort and from the moment I hit the main menu I knew I would be happy with the results.

Let's begin.

Oh, and it's on Hard Mode. Again.


0:08 - After being shot at after the power was turned on in the first game, the iguana of Iguana Entertainment finally fights back. The wacky human teeth on the iguana just makes this unintentionally hilarious...
0:53 - Oh, snap, son. In case it isn't self-explanatory enough, (or if you clicked the link to the video without reading it), this is gonna be on Hard mode. Also, Eexecute fine-tunes the sensitivity of the aiming controls.

1:12 - The opening cutscene. You are instantly told by a blue-skinned alien woman named Adon about your quest to defeat the Primagen, as well as the tasks you'll need for the first stage. Also worth noting is that instead of playing as Tal'set, the hero of the original Turok, you're playing as Joshua Fireseed, the Turok from the Acclaim comics.

3:25 - ...and with a loud explosion, we're instantly rocked into reality and pulled right into the game.

3:30 - After having a chance at marvelling at the much-improved graphics, Eexecute takes a dive and finds some life force underwater, especially underneath the destroyed boat.

4:23 - We finally start going through the game, and Eexecute changes the weapon swap to normal speed.

4:41 - You can pick up normal arrows after hit a floor or wall now. Also, Eexecute blows up this barrel and picks up the first Power Cell, which will be needed for one of the stage objectives.
5:00 - There's a teleporter there, but we're not going to step on it quite yet. Instead, Turok enters the tunnel on the other side of the room to acquire the Pistol. Yes, Adon, I know what it is. You don't have to tell me. (Though of course, that is a nice touch.) He drops back down and places the Power Cell he just found into the Distress Beacon near the start of the level.

5:42 - Our first enemy of the game, as well as one of many death animations in the game once it's dead. These guys are known as Entrails, and they do everything from shooting at you to throwing grenades to basically giving you a hard time. Also, our first key of the game, too. This one is a Level 2 Key. Yeah, we're collecting keys again.

6:37 - Yeah, that appears again, too. Then again, he's playing the ROM. Which reminds me...get used to Eexecute running around in the dark, because the flashlight doesn't work in the ROM due to the emulator, either. D'oh!

6:46 - Since he's far enough away, he won't be able to do much to you...this time. Eexecute then takes another dive and gets an extra life amongst other items. Love how Joshua Fireseed says "I am Turok!" Seriously, I really wouldn't fuck with him.

8:40 - After hitting a switch to open the cage, Eexecute rescues the first of four children. Why can't the kid just run out of the cage? Sheesh...

Also the kid saying "Thank you, Turok!" reminds me of the children in Michael Jackson's Moonwalker for Sega Genesis/Mega Drive saying "Michael!" when you rescued them. Just saying.

9:40 - Now you get to see what the Entrails can do. They basically fire some sort of plasma energy at you in an attempt to fry you to ashes. Wonderful.

9:53 - Compies. Compsognathuses (Compsognathii?) finally make an appearance in this one. Why they weren't in the first game is beyond me. The Talon (which works like the knife in the first game) makes short work of them.

10:17 - An enemy hides behind cover. Believe it or not, AI exists in this game, so don't expect to blow through this thing like you did the first Turok game.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Trust me, Mad City was easier.


It's all in Japanese, right down to where you can choose your own ending, but as you can tell, the Japanese version (known as Mad City) is much easier.

Performed by Daniel T / DTysonator on a real system, produced by Owen Johnston / cyriades.

billymc plays The Adventures of Bayou Billy - Part 3 of 3

 We're finally on the last leg of this! Are you ready?

Stage 7

(continued)


Two bosses!

Shoot the big, muscle-bound guy first; he's easier to finish off. Then, follow the knife-thrower with your crosshairs and pump him full of lead when he's on the ground.

If you need to intentionally kill yourself to refill your life bar for this battle, do so. This will ensure they'll both fall before you do. Just keep in mind that you'll lose your whip and bulletproof vest from Stage 6 if you do that.

Stage 8


Finally! Godfather Gordon's estate!

If you need a gun, you'll find one. If you need a whip, get it and hold on to it for dear life. You'll need it for Gordon. Same with the bulletproof vest.

The last guy (the one in blue) calls out dogs to attack you. If you can quickly hit him with two whip lashes and a bullet, he's gone. Yeah, that was easy. If he does call the dogs, however, smack them with the whip.

Short...but difficult! But we did it!

Stage 9


It's Billy vs. Gordon!

If you have the bulletproof vest and the whip, you can smack him around with little impunity. Just get close to him so he'll keep jumping back and holding his distance, forcing him to use his gun in vain. Just don't trap him at the end of the screen, he will try to kick at you.

This is the easy part. Go further after beating Gordon and you'll meet Rocky and Rocco. Thankfully, you should still have the whip...and this little technique.

Run around the screen in a clockwise circle and turn around and whip them once or twice when you're in the upper-left and lower-right corners. They have to be in close to do any damage, and thankfully there's no time limit in the side-scrolling stages, so be patient and keep on running around the room...they'll eventually fall.

You can get three shots on both of them at the same time if you're lucky, but considering how awfully difficult this game can be, I wouldn't condone pressing my luck at this point.

7:17 - Performance Mix. - Yeah, yet another PrinceWatercress tradition.

When one falls it'll be a lot easier to get more than two or three hits on the other.

Once they're beaten...you've won! Enjoy an actual ending for a difficult game...as well as a DPCM-recorded voice saying "Bye."

If you play Mad City all the way to the end, you can choose either to stay with Annabelle and get this ending, or...break up wth her and get the bad ending! I'll show that off in the epilogue if I can find them.

But for now...play through this game with my guide if you want to...I'll be back after the epilogue with another game!


Monday, May 27, 2013

billymc plays The Adventures of Bayou Billy - Part 2 of 3


In this episode, we get shot at, chased, beat up and other stuff. What else is new?

Stage 4

(continued)


Another hazard that wasn't in the last video: puddles. They slow you down slightly, but in the racing stages you definitely need speed.

When you beat the racing stages, you get a random amount of bonus points.

Also, you may find a gas can in the road. If you find it, get it! Successfully picking it up will give you 10 seconds of extra time that you'll really need.
 

Stage 5


Why in God's name is Godfather Gordon telling me to watch out?

Also, the other racing stage. Whoo-hoo. Might wanna pause the game and rest your hands if they're worn out by this time.

The puddles are now oil slicks, and there are now smaller, red sports cars here. The sports cars are harder to hit because they are more narrow than the enemy jeeps, so be careful if you try to shoot them down. Also, the helicopters are now bomb-dropping choppers. Bomb them before they bomb you!
 
3:22 - I actually used the word "dicks" as an interjection when I saw this. Lulz were had.
 
4:17 - He got lucky there.

The red jeeps are hard to outrun; you're better off shooting them.

Stage 6


Side-scrolling time again. This time, we're in Bourbon Street.

The guys with their hands in their pockets are easy. They go down in a few jump kicks.

There are guys swinging ball-and-chains around. Criss-crossing them with jump kicks will easily defeat them. They flash red when they are about to attack, but if you go back and forth with them you won't have much of a problem.

Getting 20,000 points apparently gives you an extra life...if you can make it that far without losing all your lives, that is!

The men with the whips have some range. If you knock their weapons out of their hands, they'll run away and try to get it back. Take this opportunity to get in extra damage either with the jump kick or the stick, if you're carrying one. You can also take their weapons once they're done. Be sure not to touch any non-whip weapons once you get the whip or else you'll lose it. Now you have an advantage.

The men in the white tanktops are easy if you have the whip. Hit him three times, move back and sidestep, hit him three times, sidestep, repeat until he's dead. Some of the tanktop men are in all brown, and even fewer will carry a bulletproof vest. They'll prove useful in Stages 8 and 9.
 

Stage 7


Watch the windows for moving purple pixels, as those are enemies. They'll bust through doors to give themselves room to shoot at you. They run pretty fast and can squeeze in some shots right when you're about to hit them, so be on your toes. The motorcycle riders also shoot at you, and they're just as quick.

billymc plays The Adventures of Bayou Billy - Part 1 of 3


Don't get me wrong, this is actually a great game. It's just...too...damn...hard.

Anyway, the game was originally released in Japan as "Mad City." When they brought it to our shores, they bumped the difficulty up past the point of frustration. Europe didn't get the game until 1991.

Unlike the Japanese version, however, you'll hear a DPCM-encoded voice say "The Adventures of Bayou Billy" at the start of the game when you see the game's title in the game's cutscene font.

The villianous Godfather Gordon has kidapped your girlfriend, Annabelle Lane. You'll have to go through shooting stages, driving scenes and Double Dragon-style beat-em-up stages to get her back. Enjoy the "game speak" that Gordon spouts out before Billy says "Oh God..." How that got past the censors at Nintendo of America is beyond me.

Game A lets you use the Zapper in the shooting stages, while Game B lets you go the whole nine yards with the controller.
 

Stage 1


Welcome to the side-scrolling stages, which make up the majority of the game. A punches, B kicks, and both at the same time does a jump kick, which you'll find yourself using almost exclusively...and even then it doesn't always help.

Some enemies have health-replenishing chickens (billymc calls them meatballs) and weapons that can help in this lopsided battle. Grab them when you can. The stick works really well, as it replaces your punch and gives you as much range as the jump kick, if not slightly more. To use your weapon, press A. Be careful not to let enemies knock weapons out of your grasp!

When you reach the first swamp area, you'll meet up with some birds that will try to fly into you. Thankfully, one hit kills them, unlike the majority of the enemies you'll meet up with throughout the game. Leap over the water when you're on the logs in the first swamp area; the crocodiles are evil and you are better off avoiding them here, anyway. The second swamp area, however, has no log platforms to traverse upon and leaves you no choice but to fight off the crocodiles. If you happened to pick up a stick from one of the enemies, it works well on them. The men in the diving suits have a gun and a bulletproof vest you can knock away from them, so be sure to grab those as soon as possible. To switch between the gun and your kick, press Select. Press B to fire the gun.

Once you make it to the third swamp area (which has the logs this time), avoid the crocodiles altogether. There. You (finally) made it past the first stage.

If you still have any bullets from your gun, you'll get bonus points for each one you have left.

Stage 2


Here's the first of two shooting stages. Yeah, I wish there were more of them too, as they're both the most decent parts of the English version of this game. Here's the power-ups rundown:
 

Power-Ups


Bulletproof vests protect you from damage for 20 seconds. During that time-frame, you'll see the vest flashing in the upper-right hand corner of the screen.
 
First aid kits replenish your health.
 
Stars kill every enemy on the screen.
 
Bullets give you 40 rounds of ammunition.
 

/rundown


To collect items, shoot them. It's that simple.

There isn't really much to this area. Shoot the bad guys before they shoot you. If they throw blasting caps at you, shoot them before they cause damage!

There will be a few areas where you have to kill all the bad guys in order to move on. With practice, you can kill them all one by one as soon as they land on the ground.

Remember: if you shoot a bullet and miss, you lose that bullet. If you shoot a bullet and hit someone, you keep that bullet. If you shoot a bullet and hit two people at the same time, you keep your bullet and get an extra one! Cool, huh?

The boss here is a chopper. Focus all your attacks on it as it moves from side to side, and it'll go down before you do.
 

Stage 3


More side-scrolling monkey business.

If you still had a weapon you beat Stage 1 (and didn't die in Stage 2), you'll have it again here. Finally, something good about the game. I'm surprised.

The boss here is this muscle-bound freak. You can use either jumpkciks or the knife against him. If you use jump kicks, move from one end of the screen to the next, while jump kicking him when you're close enough.

You'll see Godfather Gordon's van again, and the stage ends.
 

Stage 4


How does a Jeep do 180 mph? That's impossible.

Anyway, you'll be using the Control Pad to move and accelerate. B and A shoots your gun at cars and throws grenades up into the air at incoming enemy planes, respectively.

Unlike Mad City, where the driving stages are all in straight lines and you could also take a few hits before dying, you'll be taking curves here and trying desperately not to take damage - it's one hit and you're dead in the English version. Gee, thanks, Konami. Hope you have an NES Advantage, because your hands will hurt like hell with the controller.

Don't forget, the driving stages have a time limit, so don't slow down too much or you'll lose a life due to Time Over. Be sure to watch out for the rocks.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

TheAxeMan speedruns Super Mario Land - 12:15

Hey, at least it's the original game and not that excuse of a ROM hack we just looked at.

Also, you finally get to see the rocks I mentioned. Now to see if I can find a good playthrough of the
real game...

kuposan3 plays a hack of Super Mario Land - Part 8 of 8

The whole video is done in chipmunk time? Oh, joy.

World 3-3


Hey, let's make every jump impossible by adding a Koopa to it! That makes perfect sense, old chap!

The boss battle is just as hard as last time, except if you can somehow get up to the platform above him, you have to deal with an exploding Koopa. Other than that, it's pretty much the same.

World 4-1


Despite all the enemies running around, it feels pretty much the same. Don't really have much to say about this one.

The parts with the set of tall pipes are pretty hard to get through, because off all the cannons and the jumping guys and the snakes that spit fireballs at you. Having the Fire Flower at this point makes everything a lot easier.

World 4-2


Taking the low road here will get you killed...if not by the Goombas and Piranha Plants, then by the fireballs that the snakes spit at you. They always come at you in twos here, so you'll definitely have to be on your guard here.

Also, who in their right mind would take a set of five bricks, put gaps between them, make them act like a bridge you can run across, and then put a Koopa on the fourth brick? Seriously, what the hell?

World 4-3


Stay to the left throughout the level. That way, you have as much time as possible to take care of all the birds and planes.

The part just before the coin room has enemies now. Whoo-hoo.

When you're about to come out of the corridors after the coin room, stay to the right and fly up when you can to avoid the Goomba, since you can't hit it with your machine gun.

The boss battle is about the same.

Enjoy your ending. Again. Also, when you beat the second quest, you can select any level you want until you turn off the power. Nice.



Saturday, May 25, 2013

kuposan3 plays a hack of Super Mario Land - Part 7 of 8

All these jumps are hard. I blame the exploding Koopas.

World 3-1


For some reason, it now rains Easter Island heads with wings whenever you take a platform over a long pit.

The spiders that drop down on you in World 3-2 also appear early here, even though you only see one.

The Panzers make an appearance a whole world early if you're playing the same hack Shagg/kuposan3 is playing. Fun.
 

World 3-2


This world has spikes that fall from the ceiling. They look just like the spikes on the ceiling that don't kill you, except the ones that fall overlap a little bit. You can still tell, but it's still a doozy.

There's also a spider at the exit. Standing in mid-air. What.

kuposan3 plays a hack of Super Mario Land - Part 6 of 8

I don't even know anymore.

World 2-2


There's a robot on just about every platform! YAY ROBOTS

Anyway, there are a [b]lot[/b] of robots here. Your best bet is to take out whatever enemies you can and know where to stand to avoid the flying robot heads whenever necessary.

A seahorse pops out of the floor near the exit, so keep that in mind, too.
 

World 2-3

Start shooting. Start shooting the entire level.

There are now robots and rocks (Goombas in bubbles, whatever) in addition to more seahorses in this level. Also, when you reach the coins that spell out "MARIO" there are two salvoes of those fish that come in at you from the right side of the screen instead of one.

Also, there are now two spiked balls floating around the boss instead of one. Try moving around while shooting the boss now!

Friday, May 24, 2013

kuposan3 plays a hack of Super Mario Land - Part 5 of 8


After you beat the game, press Start when it says "The End." The mushroom will change to a Mario head. Select "Start." Welcome to the second quest!

World 1-1


Spear-throwing bees and pirahna plants show up here now. Also, you'll start seeing Sphinxes and Bullet Bill cannons near the end. Plus, a Koopa blocks the top exit. Lovely.

Other than that, don't expect any geographical changes to the levels in Hard Mode.

World 1-2


There's a Koopa on every stationary platform. I don't even. Plus, there's a Sphinx on the top exit, so be prepared to dodge fireballs at the end if you want 1-ups.

Also, spears are not supposed to turn into bombs when you run into them in the real game. Good lord, this hack is random.

World 1-3


JUst like the last two levels, there's a crap-ton of enemies. If you somehow make it onto the ceiling, you'll still have to deal with Goombas and piranha plants up there. So much for safety.

Also, there are a lot more Sphinxes here. You'll be going through a maze of stompable Sphinxes and their fireballs. Be prepared to run.

The boss can be handled the same way, thankfully.

World 2-1


You'll be seeing three or four seahorses on the screen, as well as a ton of Koopas. Geez, does Tatanga like exploding Koopas?

You'll see some bubble Goombas near the end that'll make getting through the maze of platforms and Koopas a little more difficult and a little more interesting, as well.

There's also a robot at the end. Have a nice time not getting killed.

This whole LP thus far reminds me of this.

Venezuela sends its love.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

kuposan3 plays a hack of Super Mario Land - Part 4 of 8

We finish the first quest off...as bad as it already is.

...

Snoopy nuts.

World 4-2


After the narrow maze part, you'll soon see a Mario game staple: that fireball that revolves around a block or a ball. In this case, it's a block. It's pretty easy to avoid.

After that, it's some platforms and a donut block that takes you to the exit. Just stand on it, and jump over the pit before the donut block falls into the pit.

World 4-3


Flying time!

This time around, you'll be shooting down bullets and other planes while destroying blocks and collecting coins.

Bullets are not supposed to freeze in place in the real game, but apparently they do in the hack. If you touch them after you destroy them, they'll die like regular enemies. (LOL, dying bullets.)

Avoid the sparks that float in the sky. They're indestructible and they will damage you.

Once you see lines of blocks making up walls, you're close to the end. You'll then see a room full of coins you can fly through...collect as many as you possibly can! After that, it's just some simple manuevering before you have to deal with fireballs revolving around blocks and indestructible fists coming out of upside-down pipes.

The boss here is Tatanga, and you will have to shoot him until he dies. He'll have two forms, and the first one is a cloud. This cloud spawns birds. (I don't even.) After enough shots, you'll meet Tatanga in his little spaceship. Avoid the fireballs as they both come out and split into three. If you shoot the fireballs, they'll turn into enemies (which includes pipe fists, dead Tweeters and Koopa bombs), unlike the real game where it does nothing. Also, unlike the real game, Tatanga doesn't go through the ceiling. At one point, it even glitches up and makes a half-clone of itself, which then proceeds to throw glitched tiles at us. I don't even. Once you shoot him enough times, he's dead. Enjoy your ending, complete with a heart stuck in the ceiling, half-finished clouds and a glitchy rocketship.

kuposan3 plays a hack of Super Mario Land - Part 3 of 8

In this video, I find out this is a ROM hack. Goddammit.

World 3-2


The things that drop down from the ceiling are supposed to be spiders, but the hack makes them look like hornets for some strange reason. Stomping on them after they've come down will get rid of them.

There are quite a few narrow platforms around here, so be careful as you're jumping around in what happens to be the hardest level yet.

As for that part with the giant waterfall where enemies just randomly pop up...that's not supposed to happen. At least, not in the real game.

World 3-3

More Easter Island heads!

When you see the Koopa on a pipe, stomp the Koopa, take care of the spider while you wait for the Koopa to blow up, then go down the pipe. Leaving the secret room takes you to the boss's lair.

The boss is some guy with an Easter Island head for a head. (A mask?) You're supposed to use the rocks to get up to the platform below him if you don't have fireballs, but since they're now Goombas in bubbles, this becomes a hell of a lot harder. You'll have to wait for him to reach the edge of the platform he's on when he's trying to throw something at you and make a running jump so you land behind him. Hit the switch and it's over.

World 4-1


Okay, this is a fucking ROM hack. What the hell.

The jumping Chinese people that can only be killed with fireballs and can take a zillion bops on the head with Mario's jump attack are now Tweeters that can be taken down with one jump. Also, we now have Panzers from the American Super Mario Bros. 2. And they can be taken down with a jump. God what.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

kuposan3 plays a hack of Super Mario Land - Part 2 of 8

In this video, we tear a new one into World 2...or at least try to.
 

World 2-2

Remember, if you run across the gaps between bricks, you won't fall. It worked in the original Super Mario Bros., and it also works here.

Once again, enter the first pipe you see and you'll skip a bit of the level and get a bunch of coins at the same time.

You'll start seeing Bullet Bills near the end. Even if you stand on the pipe that the cannons come out of, the cannons will still come out.
 

World 2-3


Guess what? You go under the sea and shoot things!

Destroy blocks and enemies with your torpedoes (you can press either A or B to shoot) as you collect as many coins as you possibly can. This level is pretty fun, I'm glad they put such a concept in this game. The level automatically scrolls, so try not to get trapped between a block and the left side of the screen.

The boss here is a seahorse. If you want, you can avoid that huge mine that bounces around the room and take shots at the seahorse with your torpedoes. Touch the switch and it'll all be over.

Also, more fake Daisy.
 

World 3-1

Easter Island heads!

Here, we meet a whole bunch of Easter Island heads that run at us...as well as some in the background. At least Nintendo tried to make backgrounds for this game. Some will bounce around on wings as others will try to charge at us.

The ones that charge at you have a different animation in this hack. Looks pretty cool.

Spiders make a debut appearance here, but they'll be in full force in World 3-2.

Also, the bubbles with the Goombas are supposed to be rocks. I don't know how [b]that[/b] got screwed up. They also don't work like they're supposed to, for as soon as you stomp on the Goomba bubbles, they pop and you kill the Goomba. Anyway, these rocks help you get past the spike traps, which is actually pretty nice.

Also, Bullet Bill cannons are not supposed to turn into squished Goombas when you land on them. Ever.

kuposan3 plays a hack of Super Mario Land - Part 1 of 8

Well, it's not the first time I've covered the Game Boy (anyone remember that TMNT game?), but it's about time I covered the system again.

And how else to do it than with the first Mario game for the system?

Actually, this is a color hack you can get via the Internet. Color = good. Unfortunately, quite a few things have changed in this version (the most notorious being everything turning into a squished Goomba when it dies, enemy sprites being edited to look better and the rocks turning into Goombas in bubbles), so if you're wondering why you're seeing the words "a hack" in the title, there you go.

I'll definitely cover the real version of the game if I ever find a decent LP of it, or if I get the resources to make my own (whichever happens first).

This is a pretty short game. There's four worlds with three levels each. Yeah, it's not very long.

World 1-1


This is a pretty easy world.

After the first tall pipe in the level, one of the blocks after it has a heart. Collecting these hearts give you a one-up. (Game Boy being in color was obviously unheard of way back in 1989, when we had other handhelds on the way such as the Atari Lynx and the Game Gear, which did it at the expense of battery life.)

The only power-ups you have are Super Mushrooms, Fire Flowers and Starmen, just like Super Mario Bros. When you shoot a fireball, it acts a little different. When you throw one down, it bounces off the ground and goes into the air, bouncing off any walls or obstacles in its path. You'll have to be closer than in SMB to do any damage with them, but it's still a good power-up to have, as there's a new advantage to it: if you shoot a fireball and it touches any coins before it goes off-screen or disappears, the fireball collects them for you! When you pick up the Starman, the Can-Can plays while you're invincible. Yes. The Can-Can.

Also worth mentioning is that if you stomp on a Koopa in this game, it turns into a bomb. Stay away from this bomb, as it will explode. Goombas are here, too, as well as the little fly enemies from the original Mario Bros. At least you can stomp on the flies this time.

If you see a brick with a line going down from the center to the lower-right corner, it has something inside. Sometimes it's coins, sometimes it's a power-up. If you're playing in color, it's much easier to notice.

There is a pipe somewhere in the middle of the level that you can go through. Not only is there a lot of bricks and coins in here, leaving the room takes you close to the end.

When you reach the end, there are two doors: one on the upper-right and one on the lower-right. If you can make it to the one on the upper-right, you'll be able to play the bonus game. Press A to stop Mario, and you'll pick up either extra lives or a Fire flower. If the ladder happens to be in your way, you'll automatically take it on your way to the other side of the screen. The bonus game will definitely help you survive if you're not very good at the game, so get into it at all costs! It's easy to do now, but as you progress through the game...not so much.

World 1-2


Gee, I guess World 1-3 happens a little early this game. I'm guessing the game expects anyone who plays this to have played through a good amount of Super Mario Bros. prior to playing this.

New enemy here: the bees that drop spears from above. You'll have to clear a pretty good height to get to them without getting hit in the process.

Yet another 1-up lies in one of the ? blocks near the end. It's in a set of three seperated by bricks and it's in the middle one.

World 1-3


The first boss level. Here you'll be in what looks like some sort of dimly-lit pyramid, even though you can see everything. It's the original monochrome Game Boy, use your imagination.

Shortly after the start, there's a short pipe next to a tall pipe. Go down the tall pipe and you'll skip a little bit after the level. When you see a sphinx spitting fireballs after that, break the blocks between the ? blocks and jump into those spaces. You'll hit a hidden block that contains a platform. Jump on the platform and stay on it. You'll be raised to the ceiling. Walk on the ceiling and go down the pipe you see there. Hard-to-reach bonus pipe!

At the end of the level is a giant sphinx. Wait for it to stay on the ground, then make a running jump over it and land on the switch. Level complete! Also, if you have the fireballs, you can shoot fireballs at it and take it down yourself to make stuff easier.

You'll rescue Daisy (why they named the princess Daisy I'll never know), only to find out it's a monster in disguise.

World 2-1


Lots of platforms and fish jumping in and out of the water. Joy.

If you go down the first pipe you see, you'll find a big cluster of coins. This is really useful if you're farming on lives, since you'll need all you can get!

After skipping a bit of the level, you'll come across bridges and seahorses shooting fireballs as they jump in and out of the water. You'll also see what look like fish bouncing up and down afterwards. Shortly after this, you'll find another pipe that you can go down, find coins in and skip more of the level with.

At this point, you'll be at the end of the level. You'll find a robot you can stomp on. At the end, use the rock to get up to the platform and jump to the top door. (It's a Goomba in a bubble in this stupid hack, and guess what? Getting into the top exit here is virtually impossible now.)

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

General Tor's Theme



Sure, why not?

DeceasedCrab plays Iji - Part 35 of 35

All right! We did it! We got everything!

As a result, the barrier is down in the fourth section of Sector Z. Let's see what's there...

Sector Z



0:38 - All right! Here we go!

To get through the barriers, you'll have to reboot your personal nanofield, then walk through while you're still flashing. Otherwise, you'll die instantly. Don't screw this up. To reboot your personal Nanofield, duck down, press C four times followed by the Z key to connect to your own Nanofield, then crack it.

1:39 - We finally get the Null Driver, which is selectable by pressing 0. This stays with you even if you switch to a different save file. If you quit the game, you'll have to go through all this to get it again. Also, it's the only gun with an actual warning label, as you'll find out.

3:17 - This is what happens when you fire the Null Driver. The graphics act all glitched up, everything on screen dies, and your points skyrocket to 99. Now you can play through the entire game with maximum stats, which is impossible in a normal game.

Also, the graphics are completely random. Absolutely every sprite in the game is here, including some you'd only see if you were playing a Pacifist Run as well as posters and in-game maps. Stuff even goes into weird animations, so don't be surprised if you play this, use the Null Driver when you get it, and then laugh your head off for some inexplicable reason.
3:43 - Here's the only stat we didn't max out...until now. Maxing out Assimilate will give you Advanced Recovery. With this, picking up Red Nano will give you two Health points while touching a green one will replenish one Health point instead of none at all. Yeah, that would have been useful against General Tor...

4:54 - Oh, LOL. Believe it or not, that black Iji that randomly showed up thanks to the Null Driver is the alternate costume that DeceasedCrab never showed off. You'll see Iji clones with the regular outfit every so often with that gun, too. For some reason, when he tries to crack it, he [b]loses[/b] points. Weird.

5:05 - Alright, Scrambler time. You get this when you beat the game once.

5:53 - The Scrambler in action (again). Also, seizure Scout body is in need of medical attention. /silentzorah

7:01 - "Hey, look at me! I'm mysteriously flying in the air for no reason while I swing my sword around like an evolutionary reject! DURR DU-DURR!" Also, killing things with the null driver sends sprites flying around everywhere before they disappear again.

8:05 - Invisible lift is invisible.

8:39 - Well, now everything's a lot clearer.

9:10 - "No! Don't believe that! It's not safe!"

9:27 - WUT

10:10 - The Scrambler even messes up the cutscenes. Oh, lord.

Well, that's it for this one. It was almost 100 KB worth of Notepad goodness, and it's been fun...but all good things must come to an end. Tune in next time for another awesome game.


Monday, May 20, 2013

DeceasedCrab plays Iji - Part 34 of 35

We're not done yet.

In this entry, we finally look at Sector Z.

Sector Z


0:06 - The first part is pretty simple. Shoot the floating white ball guys when they advance towards you, which they won't do until you're close enough.

You only have one health bar for the entire sector, and all you have is the Shotgun. If you die here you go all the way back to the start.

Each section is a reference to another game that Daniel Remar (the creator of Iji) has made.

1:38 - Here's the second section. Shoot the buzzsaws lining the walls, and don't touch the spikes - they're instant death.

3:01 - Shooting all the enemies in the third section pretty much helps. DeceasedCrab nearly dies here, but he makes it.

3:59 - The fourth section, which looks a lot like Hero 3D. The enemies lock on to you and follow you erratically, so patience is somewhat of a neccessity when shooting these things down (especially since you can't fire weapons while crouching or in the air).

4:35 - A gray logbook, left by another character from another game (I think).

7:07 - If you make it to the upper-left corner of the fourth section somehow, you'll find the "11th poster." If you walk up to it, though, you'll get a message from ReallyJoel (one of the game testers) saying the poster is too epic to unlock. Oh, well...
 
7:39 - A mysterious portal you won't be able to access unless you unlock absolutely everything in the game...

8:08 - When you leap into the blackness here, you'll end up at Section 5. If you fall, you go back to the start. Notice how all the logos floating upwards in the backgrounds are from past Daniel Remar games, up to and including Iji...

8:33 - If you take the lower path here, you'll find the secret developers' initials: DCR. Of course, you'll have to start this section all over once you find them, since there's nowhere else to go.

9:05 - lolmirrors

9:13 - The final logbook, from Remar Games. The teleporter back to the game is next to it.

9:51 - When you come back, Dan wonders where you've been.

DeceasedCrab plays Iji - Part 33 of 35

The end.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

DeceasedCrab plays Iji - Part 32 of 35

Okay, okay, let's take it from the top!

And...action!

You know what? The link speaks for itself, really.

Also, a little surprise for you at the end for those who want to see what happens when you use the Banana Gun for the last shot.

DeceasedCrab plays Iji - Part 31 of 35

It's the final battle! Iji vs. General Tor! Here we gOH SWEET JESUS HE HAS EIGHT HEALTH BARS AND THE MOST POWERFUL ATTACK EVAR

1:41 - Here it comes.

2:00 - General Tor has a lot of attacks.

The first one you'll see is when he flies all the way to the top of the bulding in the background. When he does that, he fires a huge salvo of lasers at you. The targets for these two sets of lasers take up alternate spaces, so you can move out of the first one and then the second one easily. You just have to be quick about it.

When he comes back, he sends you flying into the air when he lands back where you are, and he fires a five-way laser. The two beams that hit the ground leave a trail you'll have to jump over. Aside from the flying turrets he sends out (which shoot at you at ground level, leaving a big red wave of energy you have to jump over) as well as regular Komato ammunition (which includes multiple MPFD Devastator projectiles), his stomp sends a shockwave that shoots out from alternating spaces on the floor like the lasers. You can see where the shockwave will come through the floor from the dust clouds that pop up when he does this attack - don't stand where those dust clouds are and you should be just fine.

The red balls that he shoots out throw out bombs that hit the floor, and the purple sparks hover for a brief moment before turning into star-like things that either fly to the left or go straight down to the floor.

You'll usually be dealing with two attacks at the same time. With some practice, you'll definitely know where to place yourself when. You have infinite lives - don't give up.

After all these attacks, he'll charge some energy up in the barrel of his gun before shooting a white ball of energy that homes in on you. This is the one to wait for. Use the Resonance Reflector to send it back at him, taking off at least half a bar of his life. When he flies away after this (regardless of whether or not you knock it back at him successfully), he drops some health, which you should definitely pick up. The less health you can take before he drops it, the better. If you don't reflect it, he'll have it orbiting around him as a shield, though if you're near him when that happens, you can knock it away with the Resonance Reflector.

If you actually wnat to use your gun in the meantime, use the MPFB Devastator. You'll use all your ammo before you kill him, but it makes the wait a little less excruciating. Plus, it's a little easier to bring the first two energy bars down. If you find yourself taking damage, switch to the Velocithor V2-10. It whittles his energy down a little faster than one would think.

After you reflect the white energy balls twice, he'll shoot rockets at you from the building in the background. These rockets home in on you, and the only thing you can do is avoid them and the MPFB Devastator-style explosions they create when they explode. Also, after a while there will be targets in the sky when he shoots the red bombs upwards. You don't want to be in the path of those targets, as they will explode all at once when they reach those spaces.

He has yet another attack that he'll use when he's in the background. When you see a big red laser sweep the floor, jump! You don't want to be hit by the incoming shockwave.

As the fight lingers on, everything just gets nasty. The flying turrets explode and split into several rockets, he has a white orb orbiting around him as a shield, and you'll be dealing with three attack patterns at the same time. Just hang in there.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

DeceasedCrab plays Iji - Part 30 of 35

We prepare for the final battle!

Sector X


3:07 - After reaching the teleporter, we reach a seperate room. If you've succesfully pulled off a Pacifist run up to this point, you'll get a weapon to the left of where you end up.

3:30 - The logbooks of Komato General Tor.

5:11 - Ammo and health farming time. Also, there is a ribbon here. Don't miss it.

6:02 - If you've beaten the game, this teleporter is accessible. Going in here will give you access to two Komato logbooks which basically tell you that the power core will power up Tor's Eidolon exoskeleton to full power if you activate the maximum charge, so you'll have the choice to make the final battle either good or awesome.

7:05 - Oh, who am I kidding? It's gonna be awesome.

8:01 - The logbooks of Komato General Tor, again. Also, Assassin Asha is clearly nuts.

9:25 - This is it...

DeceasedCrab plays Iji - Part 29 of 35

In this entry, we have an Assassin that actually dies, an Annihilator that you can control yourself...and a Troll Cat. Rock on!

Sector X


0:22 - DeceasedCrab kicks a Komato straight into some exploding barrels. Fun times.

1:51 - Here's an interesting Komato logbook. Asha is too prideful to even dodge shotgun and buster gun fire when he knows how to evade everything else that it's his Achilles' Heel.

2:26 - The weakness exploit in action. Turns out, this is Asha, the same Komato who tried to kill Dan a few sectors ago.

Unlike the other Assassins, you won't be able to teleport-kill Asha here, and he has plenty of other attacks to hit you with. When he leaps into the air with a spark emanating from his hand and says "You die," prepare to jump. He'll send a shockwave that covers the entire floor. He also drops small mine-looking things that shoot lightning upwards before they disappear. Thankfully, these things are easy to avoid.

He also has another attack where you have to crouch down to avoid the wall of lasers that come down towards you. Also, be sure to avoid the electrical fields underneath the floor.

When you finish Asha off, he blows up real good.

4:22 - This terminal not only opens the second line blast doors, it also opens up this teleporter.

4:32 - When you defeat Asha, this logbook changes. NOOOOOOO!

5:15 - Here's some juicy information. Apparently the Komato Generals now haver better exoskeletons than those of the Annihilators. Their main weakness is that they have nothing but unfocused, large-scale attacks and have trouble aiming.

5:59 - When your Attack hits Level 10, you'll gain the Improved Autoloading trait. This lowers the reload time of all weapons without rapid fire by 20%. This affects only reload times, not weapon switch times.

6:22 - The Komato have finally gone nuts.

6:58 - That poor Komato...

7:21 - By playing with this terminal, you'll finally gain control of the Annihilator X Beta. Everything is going to die. Ciretako!

8:17 - Meanwhile, on DeceasedCrab's end, Troll Cat wants attention and walks all around his computer to get it. Nyan. =^.^=

8:54 - Triple kill!

9:22 - Yeah, that's right. Your job does suck.

Friday, May 17, 2013

DeceasedCrab plays Iji - Part 28 of 35

We finally made it to Sector X! Quickly, to General Tor!

Sector X



1:07 - How to get the poster for this sector.

3:43 - Some big grey turret-looking flying thing.

5:01 - Congratulations. You are officially the biggest threat the Komato has ever known.

5:17 - Apparently, another high-ranking Komato wants you dead...

5:34 - Once you take this lift up, you'll find out that the fighting has messed up Earth's atmosphere...

6:56 - Stupid Annihilator.

7:53 - This terminal opens up the first line blast doors.

8:31 - It didn't say anything about the Velocithor V2-10. Speaking of which, use it on the core and not only will you avoid a fight, you'll also get the Supercharge for Sector X.

9:08 - Ah, so that's why we have so much firepower.

9:34 - To reboot your personal Nanofield, duck down, press C four times followed by the Z key to connect to your own Nanofield. When you successfully crack it, you'll regain all the Points you've ever spent at the cost of all your stats, most ammo and weapons, and nearly all your health. Also, you won't be able to gain free health when using a Cyborg station to upgrade the Health stat for a while.

10:04 - Asha really hates you now and will stop at nothing to make sure you're dead...

DeceasedCrab plays Iji - Part 27 of 35

Oh, crap...it's Iosa!

Also, this guide is officially bigger than the one for Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest, size-wise. Yeah, that's pretty big.

0:17 - A Komato jumps into her Annihilator armor...and the conversation begins! After a bit of talking, you'll find out this is indeed Annihilator Iosa the Invincible.

2:51 - Alright, boss time. Here's how you do it:

Jump onto the platforms. This will trigger the laser traps above them that are on the ceiling. Get off the platform so that the lasers won't damage you. After doing this a few times, you'll break the platform. All the while, Iosa will stay really close to you in order to do as much damage as she can (it's the only way she can hit you at all). If the lasers hit Iosa, they'll do more damage than you can do with your gun alone, and Iosa will also drop some health that you'll definitely want to pick up, as you'll be taking quite a beating in this battle. Repeat with the other platform, once again making sure that Iosa will be in the path of the lasers when the platform breaks. To replace the damage platforms, press C at the terminal in the center of the room.

If you want to do damage with your gun in the meantime, I suggest using the MPFB Devastator. The three projectiles from each shot will actually do a decent amount of damage, even though the ceiling lasers are the best things you can use. I also suggest using the Velocithor V2-10. Even though it does less damage than the MPFB Devastator, it still eats away at his health and takes less time to start dealing damage. Using the Resonance Reflector against his weapons is a good idea, too, if you don't see yourself using any guns against him.

As for how Iosa fights? She fights more or less like the regular Annihilators, she just has a buttload of health, that's all. She does carry a Velocithor V2-10, though, so be careful when you're on the ground. When she flashes, that's your cue to be ready to jump. She'll fire it for a second, but it will knock you into the air.

6:00 - When you wipe out the Annihilator armor, you'll have Iosa the Komato. That ultra-powerful Nanofield she has keeps her from dying if his armor is destroyed...and she's just as efficient without it!

Get her on the floor next to you and kick her Before you can do that, you'll have to dodge her attack and strike when the time is right. If you duck under her claw swipe and then try to kick her, you'll have a much better chance. When you do, you'll stun her. When she's stunned, keep kicking her until you back her right into a wall, then Crack her When you do that, you'll break through her nanofield and render it useless. Then she gets a bullet in the head at point-blank range. It's finally over.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Another Daniel Remar game!

Yay!

DeceasedCrab plays Iji - Part 26 of 35

Death and destruction...for everyone!

Sector 9

(continued)



1:20 - Turret fail.

1:58 - Notice the Tasen Soldier. He teleports out of the area when you get close enough.

2:47 - This is probably the last Tasen log in the game. Once again, the soldier and her girlfriend are mentioned. Once you go left and stock up on ammo, something happens behind that uncrackable security door...

4:04 - Perhaps I spoke too soon. Here's one more that mentions Sector Z. You'll see it soon enough.

4:23 - Well, if that's true, why are you all dead?

4:52 - If you killed that one Tasen soldier, the Tasen soldier here won't go through the teleporter. Instead, you'll find the soldier that was here dead.

5:59 - If you did a pacifist run, you'll find a logbook here. Also, don't bother going through the security door, since that's where the Tasen soldier escaped through. Time to take the lift down...

6:13 - ...into Deep Sector. Just like Dracula's castle in Castlevania II, there are no enemies, until...

6:39 - You're not seeing things. Those are indeed dead humans.

7:00 - Another Komato logbook by Ansaksie. Also, the door beyond this log hides a Supercharge on the other side, and thankfully the door is Level 1.

7:34 - Once you grab the Supercharge, Assassins will be waiting for you, and the security doors in the first part of Deep Sector will close on you. Thankfully, they're all Level 1.