PrinceWatercress plays Whoopsy

Well, this is an interesting game. I don't know what else to put here, to be frank.

Longplay

Whoopsy is a game for the BBC Micro from 1985 where you're playing as a baby who was to avoid his mum and collect his toys, all the while taking a dump on the floor in order to keep as much distance between yourself and your mum as possible. Collecting all the toys takes you to the next level. As you're doing all this, you'll only have a limited amount of "whoopsies" that you can make (read: taking a dump on the floor), and you'll also have to avoid the moving toilets, as touching the toilets causes you to lose one of your whoopsies. If you get caught by your mum, you lose a life and you also receive some slightly annoying red and blue flashing. Lose all your lives, and the game is over.

: moves up, / moves down, Z moves left and X moves right. Space lets you take dump on a floor aka "make a whoopsy." Escape lets you back out to the main menu. Joysticks can also be plugged in and used; just switch to joystick control on the main menu. You can change those keys at any time in the main menu, which I gratefully welcome. 

When you leave a whoopsy on the floor, your mum will not be able to harm you; instead, she will go right for the whoopsy and clean it up. As soon as she gets to the whoopsy, however, the whoopsy disappears and she will immediately get back to chasing you. No cleaning animation or anything of the sort occurs; the crap is gone and she gets right back on you immediately. The placement of your whoopsies is absolutely crucial because of this.

Bonus lives are awarded at 50,000 and 100,000 points, assuming you can make it that far.

On the main menu, you'll see the top nine scores, you can start the game, change the difficulty level from 1 to 9 with the number keys, switch the music on and off, and switch between keyboard and joystick controls. Space Bar starts the game.

As soon as the game starts, you have to make a whoopsy in order to move. I'm not making the rules here; you actually have to use one of your whoopsies to get everything moving. At least you can plot your course before you take a dump on the floor, so that's a plus. Also, I'm beginning to wonder if what I'm typing is what it will sound like if Aqualung from Aqualung's Game Reviews ever sat down and reviewed this game for YouTube.

At the top of the screen, you'll see your high score, your current level, your current score and the amount of bonus points you'll earn - which slowly ticks down as you play the level - when you clear the level. To the right of that is your amount of whoopsies, and to the right of your whoopsies is your current amount of lives. You'll start in the lower right, while mum starts in the upper left. The toys will be randomly strewn about, and when you collect them, they will re-appear in the crib on the lower left. The whoopsies you have will help with that, but there's a catch: you cannot collect any toys while you have a whoopsy on the floor and your mum is rushing to clean it up. If you try, you'll just move straight through them. You'll have to take a dump, get to a toy, get moving once you collect the toy that you've grabbed, grab a few more toys and make a whoopsy at the right time, and you'll need to do this in such a way that you'll always have a few whoopsies on hand in order to keep distance between yourself and your mum. Not only that, you'll also have to move around in such a way that your mum cannot catch up with you, as she moves faster than you do.

When you complete a level, you and your mum will be back to their original starting positions, and you'll gain three more whoopsies for the next level. You'll also have to collect more toys to get to the next level. In case you lose a life from colliding with your mum in any way, you'll go back to the lower right, but at least you'll get three more whoopsies to make up for it. 

I like this game, although a few things could have made it more fair. You could have had a little animation of mum cleaning the whoopsy up that could have bought you just a little more time. Also, not being able to collect toys while a whoopsy is in play can be a bit irritating. While it gives the game a stop-start motion that you at first get used to before eventually mastering and manipulating in order to get through each level with as few headaches as possible, it can also be a bit of a burden even when you get a grip on how the game wants you to play it. It really feels like the game wants you to play it in a certain way if you want to get a high score and succeed.

As for the rest of the game itself, the game controls wonderfully, and I didn't run into any errors of any kind. The graphics, being the basic things that they are for any BBC Micro game, as identifiable, so they work in that regard. The fact that there is always music playing is a nice touch, but you may still find yourself turning it off, as it can get annoying fast. This is a fun and mischievous game for the venerable Beeb, but while it is easy to play, it is challenging to master, and it is definitely a game to get a grip on if you want a challenge for an arcade-style game.

PrinceWatercress plays Alisia Dragoon - Part 8 of 8

It's time for the final battle with Baldour!

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Stage 8

You'll soon enter Baldour's chamber, where you'll also meet Ornah. To defeat Ornah, duck down and shoot at him at first. When he lands on the ground, jump over the energy waves he produces while letting your magic recharge. For best results, lightly tap the jump button. Sometimes he shoots two waves; other times, he shoots three. When he floats upwards and raises a hand, get to the other side, and get the dragon to fly around in a circle as he follows you. You'll have to jump over the dragon twice. When the magical dragon explodes, duck down and attack to hit Ornah while avoiding the fireballs that spew out. You may have to jump in case a projectile is low to the ground. The pattern will then repeat. If you know what you're doing, you'll be able to beat this phase while losing as little health as possible.

When Ornah starts exploding, get under him when he teleports to the center of the room to avoid his projectiles, then start fighting him again like you have been. Second verse, same as the first. Oran will explode again, and this time, he'll be done for good.

You'll then face Baldour. Stay near the center when he flies all the way to the left, and keep tapping the attack button so that your attack power is near the red. Be ready to duck all the time. Jump over the worms and attack while in mid-air, then jump over the dark maroon projectiles that Baldour fires towards the ground. If you're far enough away from him, the fireballs that drop down won't even hit you, especially if you just keep on ducking.

You'll eventually do enough damage that Baldour flies towards the center. When that happens, head to the left side of the room and keep tapping the attack button like you did with Ornah. This will allow you to destroy the rest of him. This is the time to bust out the raven companion. Have the raven take out everything on-screen every so often, and when you see four dark red projectiles fly out from Baldour, you'll want to run to the side to avoid them when they come down. Baldour will fire other projectiles forward, some of which will be hard to see, such as the feathers from his wings. Staying crouched down on the far left will help after a while, but you'll still have the problem of Baldour lunging at you. You'll want to get to the right once Baldour is right next to you so you can give yourself some room, then head back to the left while avoiding attacks so you can destroy what's left of him. As you keep attacking, parts of Baldour will explode, and he'll eventually stop shooting out those smaller fireballs that flew towards the ground at the beginning of the battle. Once enough of Baldour is destroyed, Baldour finally falls. You just beat Alisia Dragoon!

PrinceWatercress plays Alisia Dragoon - Part 7 of 8

This is where the game really starts getting tough. Not only do you have three tough guards and a boss battle, but you also have to get into the final chamber, all without losing a ton of health.

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Stage 7

Tread carefully at the start of the stage and be ready to avoid projectiles as you shoot at the green blobs. Some of them will generate other slimes as they take damage, and when that happens, you'll want to attack them from far away with a fully-powered attack.

The three guards with the spears that teleport in and out will also shoot out a blue homing shot. You'll need to go back down to either outrun it for long enough of go so far back down that the projectile is forced off-screen and forced out of existence.

Hitting the dark gray titles on the ceiling when your magic is fully charged will turn them into a staircase. If you're wondering why you can't go further up after defeating the three spear guards, that's why. You'll then face another boss. Stay to the side when he teleports in and do whatever damage you can before he raises his hands to throw down explosive projectiles, then get to the center and damage the four smaller guys that show up with a fully-powered screen-affecting attack from your thunder magic. The will-o'-the-wisp is the best companion for this battle, as it will take bullets for you like a sponge. 

Once you beat the boss, use a fully-powered attack to turn the ceiling into stairs, then quickly jump up the stairs and heal yourself with the power-up globes that you come across. Avoid the guys who teleport in on the way up entirely, as it makes it so that you don't have to fight them when you get into the final chamber for this stage. Have the raven by your side as you go left and jump from one spinning triangle platform to another while avoiding the flying machine guns that zoom at you. There will also be small orbs flying around, but you can easily destroy those. Once you reach the final platform, you'll enter Stage 8.

PrinceWatercress plays Alisia Dragoon - Part 6 of 8

Be ready to take damage...a lot.

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Stage 6

Progress slowly as you go through this stage. Some of the robots in the background will come to life and attack, and you'll need to be ready. You'll also see ordinance that will explode if you touch it or attack it from nearby. Keep in mind that you'll be travelling diagonally through all of this stage.

Picking up health extensions while having maximum health will still refill one unit of health, so continue picking them up.

In the second section, you will see blue clouds that turn into monsters that pop up in certain places as well as blue zombie-like humans with guns that spawn endlessly when you are in certain hallways. Tread slowly and always be ready to attack at full power.

You'll soon face the boss. The boss will summon two machine guns than teleport and fire at you while he flies around and shoots projectiles at you. You want to be able to see him and fire at him as much as possible. The raven's full-screen attack will help, as will full-power thunder magic attack. Even though the machine guns will keep coming back, you'll still want to shoot them down along with the boss.

When you beat the boss, continue to tread carefully to preserve your health and more easily defeat the zombie soldiers. When you find a platform, jump on it to entire Baldour's fortress for Stage 7. 

PrinceWatercress plays Alisia Dragoon - Part 5 of 8

We enter a cave for Stage 5...and it soon becomes apparent that we're getting close to Ornah and Baldour.

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Stage 5

As soon as you start the stage, you'll be seeing stalactites falling from the ceiling and bats swooping towards you. Be ready to attack at full power.

If you jump past the first gap and shoot the wall, you'll be able to give your max HP a boost and get two level-ups for your companions, should you need them. Make sure that you thoroughly explore every path, as an attack power-up will reward the curious.

The floating boulders will create slightly smaller rocks to spin around them. You'll need to destroy them to get to the boulder in the center, and that will take a lot of attack magic. The more powerful your attack is, the better. Get away when the center boulder explodes so you don't get hit by the revenge shots. Some of them just jump up and down instead of creating a barrier; they still send a projectile at you after they die.

You'll need to run and blast through the green eye enemies to get through them before they come back while taking as little damage as possible, as they cannot be destroyed.

The little guys in brown and green will run and jump around in addition to throwing projectiles that fly around in "S" patterns. Nothing less than a full-power strike will do. You'll have to get past them to reveal a platform that will get you past the narrow cave-like paths.

You'll soon enter a volcano. Avoid falling into the yellow lava as well as the flames that come out of the lava pools. There will be quite a few green eye enemies at the start, and you'll want to speed past them.

The human enemies that teleport in and out will shoot projectiles between teleports. Wipe them out as soon as possible so that you don't take a lot of damage.

The lava section leaves a lot of blue potions, in case you couldn't tell. There's also an attack power-up that you'll want to collect here, too.

Near the end, there will be a group of seven boulder monsters near each other. Move past them so they don't fall down on you. Take out the group that's dead ahead.

You'll then face the boss: an attack tank. Have the raven ready for battle at full attack power before jumping in. Attack the top of the front of the machine, and use the platforms to jump over the tank as it moves around. You'll want to attack the top of the machine on each side while avoiding the numerous projectiles that come from the tank's cannons. The tank can move forward as well as in reverse, which can throw you off as you're fighting it.

You'll then find what looks like a wrecked spaceship. You'll be going in there for Stage 6.

PrinceWatercress plays Alisia Dragoon - Part 4 of 8

This stage is even faster than the last one if you know what to do.

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Stage 4

Go to the left at the start for some power-ups, including a blue fairy. Get ready to attack a worm that jumps in and out of the ground when you do, though. The head is the weak point. There's more if you stay at the bottom and go all the way to the right. When you go as far right as you can, go up and to the left. You'll find another health extension.

Other enemies include rocks rolling down the slopes, birds dropping said rocks, insects that fly at you, brown flea-like enemies that hop around after rising out of the ground. Take your time, and unleash a full-power attack when enemies start showing up in droves.

When you reach the top, you'll fight what looks like a slightly muscular but also slightly skeletal pterodactyl. You can only attack the head when the mouth is open. When the pterodactyl backs up and then darts right at you, stay on the lower level and duck. Stay on the lower level and be ready to duck and/or jump as the boss spits the big fireballs. When it starts spitting the smaller fireballs, you'll want to unless a full-power attack if you can and attack as many as possible; otherwise, stay in the center and duck.

After this, the boss will back up and then dive at you multiple times. Stay close and keep moving back and forth with it, and fire your thunder magic as you're moving back. After one big dive that you can avoid by staying on the move, the pattern repeats. As for companions to bring in, any of them will do, but the raven and the will-o'-the-wisp are best. Once you beat the boss, head further to the right and take out the rocks along the way to enter the next stage.

PrinceWatercress plays Alisia Dragoon - Part 3 of 8

Things get a little hairier on the airship...

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Stage 3

When you start the stage, you'll have three turrets firing at you. Shoot the two on the right first to make it easier to get around, and you can take out the one at the left. If you go to the left after going far enough to the right while taking out more turrets, insects will start flying out at you.

The blue fairy will give you maximum power for all your attacks for a limited time.

The purple soldiers will self-destruct if they get to the ground where you are, so shoot them down before they do.

On your way up to where the enemies on the platforms are, you'll want to get the item that brings your attack power to Level 3. As for the platform enemies, shoot them down so you can leap from platform to platform to continue on.

The boss is a bunch of purple bio-turrets or something. Bust out the raven companion and make sure they are at Level 3 to do maximum damage on all the turrets; the fewer that are active and shooting directly at you at once, the better. You'll also have to deal with orbs that slowly fly towards you as well as insects with multi-way shots that peek in and out of the walls. You'll need to destroy the turrets and the insects to beat the boss battle and jump off the airship and into the mountains for Stage 4.