DeceasedCrab plays Takeshi no Chousenjou aka Takeshi's Challenge - Part 1 of 5

This is probably the weirdest game I've ever covered. Period.

Anyway, here it is: Takeshi no Chousenjou aka Takeshi's Challenge for the Famicom Disk System...and translated, too! It's considered to be one of the weirdest games you'll ever play simply because of all the stuff you have to go through to reach the end.

Did I mention the game was weird?

The Password Screen

If you talk to the guy at the password screen and Punch him, you'll get an automatic game over. Freaky.

Boss' Office

Alright, alright, let's go left instead and end up at the boss's office, where we start the game. Since Takeshi has been jacking off at his job, he only gets a small bonus. This is the money you start the game with.

From here, head right two screens (the first one is the Sales Dept., more on that later) and you'll be outside.

Town

Head right until you find the bank. It's to the right of the "Joy Joy Street" sign. Go in, and talk to the teller at the far right. Make a withdrawal, and you'll end up with 50,000 yen (which isn't very much).

Head out, then head to the building left of the Nico Nico Loan building and enter. Take out the street punk before he eats away at your health.

Culture Center

Go up to the desk and pick the Music course. From there, choose Shamisen. You'll be set back 45,000 yen. Leave, then head back to the "Joy Joy Street" sign and walk into it. You'll be in another part of town.

Joy Joy Street

From here, go to Azemichi Karaoke/Snack.

Azemichi Karaoke

Walk up to the stool and order liquor. Drink until you black out.

My Home

You'll end up back at home. She'll berate you for coming home drunk again. When you get a choice of what you want to say to her, say "I want a divorce." From there, "Pay Alimony." Then get the hell out of there before the old lady beats your ass.

JESUS CHRIST, I'M ONLY FIVE MINUTES IN AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M WRITING

Suburbs

I don't know.

Anyway, we now have the Divorce Letter in our inventory. Go all the way to the right, then move up. You're back where you started.

Town

To keep from dying, press A and B simultaneously three times. Now you'll never die again!

Anyway, go back to the Boss' office.

Boss' Office

I'M TYPING THIS THE SAME WAY IT APPEARS ONSCREEN GOSH

Anyway, go back to your boss and ask for a resignation. He'll be like "OK, whatever" and give you some more money. Take it.

Sales Dept.

Now go back to the screen right of the boss's office and duck down in front of the plant. You'll find your secret savings. Take those as well.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIGURE OUT THAT I HAVE TO DO ALL THIS I'M NOT JAPANESE

Town

Go back to the Culture Club.

Culture Center

Go to the desk, pick Sports, then pick Hang Gliding. You'll get the Hang Gliding Certificate. Exit, re-enter, pick Language, and pick Hintabo.

Town

Go left and head into Niko Niko Ginza. Do it the same way you entered Joy Joy Street.

Niko Niko Ginza

Go right until you reach Travel Tamagawa. Enter.

Travel Tamagawa

Go up to the desk and choose South Pacific. Leave.