Not only is this game really bad, it's really easy. You can time attack this sucker in ten minutes.
"The Software Toolworks."
Oh, crap, will this ever suck.
Anyway, Bowser and his minions have seized a zillion things related to great events in human history from the time-space continuum, and Mario has to get them back. Yoshi gets ahead of Mario, Bowser shows up in front of Mario at the door and does some derpish motion with his hands while a weird sound plays (I'm trying to make fun of this and I can't), and we find Yoshi is kidnapped. Of course, first things first.
Enter a door with Up on the Control Pad and beat up all of the Koopas. The screen you do this in is not only a reference to the original Mario Bros. arcade game, you'll have to beat them in the exact same fashion. You'll get an historical item from the last one. Press Down to pick it up, then go down the pipe at the machine in the center. You'll then have to guess which year it came from by using Up and Down on the Control Pad. When you've made your choice, press A. If you guess wrong, you won't find out until you hit the information boxes...then you'll lose the item. Gee, thanks, game. You'll then have to do the whole thing over and over until you get the year right, then you have to take the item to a specific area to return it. You'll be able to return to the present day and also get a password to save your progress.
The info boxes give you interesting information about the area you're currently in, and you'll have to remember all this stuff for later to enter Bowser's room at the end. You can also use the Question Mark in the item block at the top of the screen to talk to a person from that time period, and switch to the clock with the Select button to see what year you're in. Of course, you can also switch to the item in your possession that you need to return the same way. To use an item, just press Start. Be careful not to use the historical item in the wrong place, or you'll lose it and you'll have to reclaim it all over again before you can take it to its proper place.
The yellow clock blocks can be broken with a Spin Jump (Down + A).
The hourglass blocks can be hit from underneath to allow passage to whatever is above them, much like the bricks in Super Mario World.
The enemies can simply be jumped on, and they don't hurt you. You can also kick the Koopas away after you jump on them.
Believe it or not, you can enter a door twice to return two items. Once you return the two items behind that door, it will be bricked over and you can't enter it again.
The torch is from 776 BC. Take it to the giant torch in the far right side of this area to light the giant torch and return it.
The light bulb is from 1879. Place it on the last bookcase, which is in the right end of the area.
The apple is from 1687. Place it on top of the huge tree at the right end of the area.
The sledgehammer is from 1989. Use it on the guardtower in the right end of the area.
The egg is from 80M BC. Return it to the cave in the right end of the area.
The stovepipe hat is from 1862. Use it on the lock on the gate to Gettysburg.
The steering wheel is from 1520. Use it on top of the anchor at the rightmost end of the ship.
The Indian flag is from 1947. Use it in front of the Taj Mahal (that big white building in the background).
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