dannydoesvideos - Danny, Dean and Jon play Guardians of the Hood - Part 1 of 4

Are you ready to watch one of the worst beat-'em-ups of all time?

Also, if I can't think up any strategies for any of these enemies or bosses, it's because the game is so random and cheap that it puts Pit-Fighter to shame. Hell, both games were made by the same company...so there's really no excuse for this looking like a period piece on crack cocaine.

You have four characters at the start: Connor, Chief, Javier and Tanya. Connor's the martial artist, Javier is the street fighter, Chief is a former pro wrestler, and Tanya's more of a gymnast. As you progress through the game, you'll unlock other characters.

You'll then see some guy who looks like Michael Jakson in the video for "Smooth Criminal," except he's wearing sunglasses, a dark suit instead of a white one, and the Michael Jackson-esque characteristic of his face are even more exaggerated. You're going to see him at the beginning of every new area of town you enter as he tries to sic other gangs in the city on you.

Beat The Dreads (Wave 1)

As soon as you start the game, you start fighting Maubys. If you know how to play Pit Fighter, you know how to play this game. If you haven't, well, start mashing buttons and start performing button combinations to see which ones do what, because the controls are similar.

First of all, why the hell is the timer in the lower-left corner. What, is this the 1980s, where beat-em-ups and fighting games like Street Fighter II, Streets of Rage or Final Fight didn't exist yet and games involving hand-to-hand combat were desperately missing something besides a de facto standard HUD? (Yes, I know Golden Axe was around at the time. That game is an exception to the rule.)

Also, the game lets you pick up the bum that's drinking out of a beer bottle in a paper bag and throw him at enemies. What were the developers thinking? Sure, it's rather unique in being the only game that lets you attack enemies with a homeless person, but come on! This is somewhat weird for the 1990s...and it's definitely weird now. What makes this even stranger is that the homeless guy isn't even flailing. He's just walking in place sideways while trying to get drunk in public, not giving the slightest shit that you're going to throw him into the nearest enemy. That is hardcore right there.

Speaking of weapons, you can also destroy the taxi cab and use the body paneling on it as a weapon against nearby enemies.

You'll also fight clones of Nigel, who just happens to be more of a palette swap of Mauby, who comes at you at the beginning of the wave. When you strike at enemies, you'll knock them back for a second. When enemies are flashing red, they're close to death. The same can also be said for the players if that happens, and if you die, you have to put money in to continue. You only get one life per credit. That's it.

Don't forget that you can use your super attacks a few times if the enemies become insanely annoying. The stars in your HUD indicate how many uses you have on your super left. Thankfully, the game is somewhat generous with them, and you can gain a Super Attack star every 2000 points.

When you beat up all the enemies, you'll head to the gym. Just walk up to the door when it's flashing and you'll enter.

Here, you'll take on another member for points, but if there's more than one player, it's a free for all much like the versus mode bonus game in - you guessed it - Pit Fighter. Whoever wins continues for free while the losers have to pony up dough just to continue with the game. If it's a one player game, though, you'll have to win in order to move on.

Beat The Dreads (Wave 2)

After ducking a drive-by (can this guy even aim?), it's business as usual again. Toots is pretty strong, and can also hit you with a piledriver.

After taking care of all the enemies, which consists of just three varieties that have very little difference between each other, you'll enter an adult theater and take on more enemies. Love how you can see the silhouettes of both the heroes and the enemies on the movie screen in the background. Also, that's a pretty weak flick. All it consists of is some woman with bare shoulders looking at you from behind and nothing else.

You'll then see some guy tear through the movie screen and come at you. This is Jay-Jay, the leader of the Dreads. When you take this guy down, he'll join your cause, and you can play as Jay-Jay for the remainder of the game.