I finally cover one of those diabeetus games. AGAIN. Oh, joy.
If you're wondering what the code does, it lets you insert any amount of insulin into Captain Novolin instead of forcing you to choose the color the game wants you to, effectively making the game harder (or more interesting depending on how sadistic you are). You also get to overdose on insulin on the insulin needle screen. Unfortunately, I can't remember what the hell the code is from memory for the life of me, so in case you're wanting to kill Captain Novolin for the lulz, you're on your own.
Anyway, aliens have landed on Mt. Wayupthar, which is near a town that will never be named. These aliens have disguised themselves as sugary treats that would basically put a diabetic person into shock and have been ordered to attack Earth by their leader, Blubberman.
Captain Novolin (our "hero," and by "hero," it's basically a complete stretch as his only power is checking his blood sugar) watches the news report of this from his lair, and he immediately springs into action. "Action" is also a stretch of the imagination, since "action" involves eating food and doing diabetic things. Of course, you get to jump on bad guys' heads, but if I wanted to do that, I'd play Super Mario Bros.
Even worse, they've kidnapped Mayor Gooden, mayor of Whatever-Town-This-Is-Supposed-To-Be-But-Isn't-Named-In-The-Game-At-All-Because-The-Developers-Suck, and he has only enough diabetic supplies on him to last 48 hours. So Captain Novolin is the only guy around who's a bad enough dude to save Mayor Goodman? What is this madness?
You then get advice from some woman who looks like Michael Jackson circa 1997 about checking your blood sugar four times a day, then you're finally on your way...after you get your glucose.
Just match the color on the stick with the color on the can. There, you've done it. Then this same woman tells you to take the doctor's prescribed insulin dose. Move the needle down until you see the word "Usual" next to the hand, then inject. Then you get the breakfast meal plan from some black guy who may or may not look like Al Roker, which is actually important because these are things you'll be collecting. Now you can do...things.
Anyway, aliens have landed on Mt. Wayupthar, which is near a town that will never be named. These aliens have disguised themselves as sugary treats that would basically put a diabetic person into shock and have been ordered to attack Earth by their leader, Blubberman.
Captain Novolin (our "hero," and by "hero," it's basically a complete stretch as his only power is checking his blood sugar) watches the news report of this from his lair, and he immediately springs into action. "Action" is also a stretch of the imagination, since "action" involves eating food and doing diabetic things. Of course, you get to jump on bad guys' heads, but if I wanted to do that, I'd play Super Mario Bros.
Even worse, they've kidnapped Mayor Gooden, mayor of Whatever-Town-This-Is-Supposed-To-Be-But-Isn't-Named-In-The-Game-At-All-Because-The-Developers-Suck, and he has only enough diabetic supplies on him to last 48 hours. So Captain Novolin is the only guy around who's a bad enough dude to save Mayor Goodman? What is this madness?
You then get advice from some woman who looks like Michael Jackson circa 1997 about checking your blood sugar four times a day, then you're finally on your way...after you get your glucose.
Just match the color on the stick with the color on the can. There, you've done it. Then this same woman tells you to take the doctor's prescribed insulin dose. Move the needle down until you see the word "Usual" next to the hand, then inject. Then you get the breakfast meal plan from some black guy who may or may not look like Al Roker, which is actually important because these are things you'll be collecting. Now you can do...things.
Breakfast
Well, you basically run to the right, jump on bad guys' heads, and collect one of each food. Collecting more than one of each food will screw up your insulin and kill you at the very end of the stage. Yeah, I had to find that out by trial and error. Thanks, game.
The white star is a diabetes fact. Remember what it says, because you'll need to know it later.
You have milk, bananas, toast and cereal to eat. Remember, one of each.
Also, we have donuts and boxes of sugar trying to kill us. Sweet Jesus Christ, someone help us.
The white star is a diabetes fact. Remember what it says, because you'll need to know it later.
You have milk, bananas, toast and cereal to eat. Remember, one of each.
Also, we have donuts and boxes of sugar trying to kill us. Sweet Jesus Christ, someone help us.
Morning Snack
Check your blood glucose, then you're off again.
Once you get the apple and crackers, it's on to the other side of the stage. Be sure not to take damage, you only have four hits before you lose a life.
The question mark is the question. If you touched the white star, you already know what the answer is. Also, glucagon makes your body produce glucose really fast.
You'll get 5000 bonus points if your glucose is within the safe (read: green) zone at the end of one part of the day.
You'll then get the lunch plan.
The food to collect are the carrots, grapes, tuna sandwich and a glass of milk.
The candy bar monsters are the worst, because they run really fast when they get close enough to you. You'll be leaping ahead of time to avoid these monstrosities. The cookies and soda cans aren't so bad, though.
It's blood glucose check time again.
Pretzels and cheese - those are your snack items.
When you're done with this stage, you'll get the woman again, telling you to stick to your exercise and meal plans. Then it's needle time again, followed by the dinner meal plan.
A chicken leg, a potato, a green salad with dressing, cherries and a roll make up your dinner plan.
You'll meet a dock attendant, who tells you to wear sturdy shoes and socks to protect your feet. Then, he gives you a pair of each. (But he's already wearing shoes and socks...)
There's a star to touch for your daily(?) diabetes fact after you talk to him, then we get in the boat. Despite the slight change of pace here, the controls are exactly the same.
Be careful and watch your jumps so that you don't eat two of the same thing. The enemies here are easy, even though the evil licorice fly around in weird pattens similar to those of the donuts. You also have chewing gum, ice cream sundaes and bottles of soda to deal with, as well.
Have a turkey sandwich and a glass of milk. They're good for you in this hike through the forest. (Who hikes through the forest at 10 PM?)
A lot of the enemies are from the lunch and dinner stages, but you have a new one here: ice cream cones that throw their own brain matter at you.
And that's the end of the first day.
After the blood glucose check and the insulin shot, it's breakfast time again.
Once you get the apple and crackers, it's on to the other side of the stage. Be sure not to take damage, you only have four hits before you lose a life.
The question mark is the question. If you touched the white star, you already know what the answer is. Also, glucagon makes your body produce glucose really fast.
You'll get 5000 bonus points if your glucose is within the safe (read: green) zone at the end of one part of the day.
You'll then get the lunch plan.
Lunch
The food to collect are the carrots, grapes, tuna sandwich and a glass of milk.
The candy bar monsters are the worst, because they run really fast when they get close enough to you. You'll be leaping ahead of time to avoid these monstrosities. The cookies and soda cans aren't so bad, though.
Afternoon Snack
It's blood glucose check time again.
Pretzels and cheese - those are your snack items.
When you're done with this stage, you'll get the woman again, telling you to stick to your exercise and meal plans. Then it's needle time again, followed by the dinner meal plan.
Dinner
A chicken leg, a potato, a green salad with dressing, cherries and a roll make up your dinner plan.
You'll meet a dock attendant, who tells you to wear sturdy shoes and socks to protect your feet. Then, he gives you a pair of each. (But he's already wearing shoes and socks...)
There's a star to touch for your daily(?) diabetes fact after you talk to him, then we get in the boat. Despite the slight change of pace here, the controls are exactly the same.
Be careful and watch your jumps so that you don't eat two of the same thing. The enemies here are easy, even though the evil licorice fly around in weird pattens similar to those of the donuts. You also have chewing gum, ice cream sundaes and bottles of soda to deal with, as well.
Bedtime Snack
Have a turkey sandwich and a glass of milk. They're good for you in this hike through the forest. (Who hikes through the forest at 10 PM?)
A lot of the enemies are from the lunch and dinner stages, but you have a new one here: ice cream cones that throw their own brain matter at you.
And that's the end of the first day.
After the blood glucose check and the insulin shot, it's breakfast time again.
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