PrinceWatercress plays The Simpsons: Bart and the Beanstalk - Part 3 of 4

This is probably the hardest second half of a game I've seen since Karate Kid.

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Level 3

After beating the Mr. Burns cloud, Bart comes across the door to the giant castle. Bart will come foot-to-face with a giant Marge, who invites him in for a snack but tells him not to touch the bag of gold, the magic harp and the goose that lays the golden eggs. Obviously, he's going to nab them.

Move out of the way immediately when the level starts so you don't get impaled by a sewing needle.

The beetles are replaced by mice, and the mice will jump forward.

Watch out for the tacks, as well as the right sides of the rat traps. Thankfully, the left side of the traps act as springboards.

Wait for the candles to un-light themselves before jumping from one candle to another.

The gold egg makes you invincible for a few seconds...but those few seconds don't feel long enough.

When you make it to the end, you'll head to the second section, where you're in a vat-sized bowl of soup. Apparently this is the soup do jour that Giant Marge warned us about. You'll want to jump from meatball to meatball, taking care not to be around the big air bubbles when they pop and also making sure you don't fall too far down; otherwise you will fall into the drink and die You also want to keep from taking too much time on the meatball platforms, as some of them can sink when you stand on them. You'll also see the salt shaker. Avoid that as well as the salt cubes that drop down from it when it shakes.

YTP AVGN is Swapping A$$ and Playin' C0cks (by @BiodeEditable)

Yeah?!? Well, EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH

PrinceWatercress plays The Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle 3 - Part 1 of 18

It's been a while since I played the Crazy Castle series...so let's play another game!

Strangely, I found this one a bit easier compared to past games in the series. Maybe it's because I'm used to playing them at this point. Maybe it's because games had become easier and more accessible in general between the release of the second and third games. Maybe it's because of a combination of both of these things. Nevertheless, this one is easier, and I consider this one the best "jumping off" point for anybody interested in the series.

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If you've played the Crazy Castle series before, this game is nothing new. If you haven't played it before, this is a good starting point, as this game is - at least to me - noticeably easier compared to past games in the series. I'm not sure if this is because I've played and beaten the past games, or if it's just because the game was made beyond 1995, when games were getting easier and more accessible, but I didn't find this one as frustrating as past games.

Anyway, for those who haven't played any of the games in this series: think of this as a Lode Runner clone with licensed cartoon characters slapped on where you're doing more than just collecting everything and finding the exit while running away from enemies. The enemies have different behaviors, there are stairways that you can use to get from one place to another, there are doors that contain items and power-ups, and you can even fight back against enemies with things like bombs, guns and bows.

One day, Bugs Bunny finds an ancient book in an ancient shop. The book is titled "The Treasure of the Old Castle." Bugs begins to read and soon completely loses track of the time. The book reads "Somewhere in the Old Castle there's a treasure that will bring great happiness to its finder." However, the exact location of the treasure is a mystery...

Bugs sets off immediately to search for the treasure. As he leaves, Taz is looking through the window, watching him. Can you help Bugs find the hidden treasure in the Old Castle?

Unlike the previous games, which just takes place in the castle, the game is split into four areas. The first one is the Garden.

The game eases you into the action. The Control Pad is used to move left and right, climb up and down ladders like the vines in Stage 1 and also enter doors. As a matter of fact, the game tells you that you can use Up on the Control Pad to enter these doors early on in the game. Sometimes the doors will contain keys; other times, they will contain power-ups. The A and B buttons allow to use weapons

There are eight keys in each stage, and you can keep track of how many ou have by looking in the lower-right corner of the screen. This is where you'll also see how many of the stage's weapons you have, and whether or not you have the pickaxe or the sledgehammer, neither of which will show up until later.

Daffy Duck will chase you relentlessly, and if he touches you, you'll lose a life. Thankfully, you can fight back with weapons such as bombs, and you can push the 100t weight into him to defeat him. The weight will move a few tiles forward when you walk into it, which is nice if you have an enemy trapped near a wall.

The weapon here is the bomb, but other stages will have a different main weapon, such as the gun or the bow and arrow. By pressing A or B, you can lay a bomb if you have one, and if an enemy touches it, they will be defeated. Thankfully, you can pick a bomb up again after you've laid it down by walking into it.

The Up tile will launch you upwards. If you hit a ceiling, you will fall down. If you need to get to a platform, hold Left or Right when you are near it, and you'll suddenly descend in that direction. Once you get used to the timing on this, you'll be able to ascend and land on platforms like a pro.

The door with the lock on it is the exit. You'll need all eight keys to unlock it. Once you open it, you'll exit to the next stage, get an extra life, and get a password. The password keeps track of how many lives you have when you've cleared a stage, so it helps to get through the levels as well as you can without dying a lot.

Unlike the second game, entering a door no longer freezes the enemies for a few seconds. Also, you won't have as much slowdown here, and the game moves more smoothly than the second one did.

On the password screen, you'll notice that the game has a carrot counter. The game's passwords keep track of that, too, and if you collect eight of them, you'll get an extra life. You won't be seeing those until later, however.

Tweety debuts in Stage 2. He will move slowly and stop briefly every so often. Thankfully, he is easier to deal with than Daffy, assuming you don't go too fast.

The stairways will get you from one floor to another. If a staircase goes up, you'll need to press Up to use it; if it goes down, you'll have to press Down. While using them, enemies cannot hurt you even if they are using the stairways, but you will be vulnerable the moment you come out of them.

To use the pipes, press Up or Down depending on where the pipe opening is in relation to Bugs. Much like the stairways, you are invincible while in them, but you will be vulnerable again as soon as you come completely out of them.

If you stop while facing a slope that is going down, you will automatically move down the slope until you stop on flat ground.

The "W" tile is a warp tile. If you stop on it, you'll be taken to another "W" tile.

Unlike the previous games, you can pause with the Start Button, then move around on the map with the Control Pad to see where things, doors and enemies are. When you un-pause, you'll be back where Bugs was.

The vine is actually a staircase. Use Up on the Control Pad to go up it.

The moving green floor is a conveyor belt that will push you either left or right. Get ready to see these throughout the four sections of the game.

The carrots will start showing up in Stage 5. As mentioned earlier, collecting eight of them will net you an extra life.

Elmer Fudd will slowly move and stop to shoot forward. If the cork bullet he shoots at you hits you, you will lose a life. As you'll soon notice, there are three types of enemies in the game: the chasers (Daffy), the slow movers (Tweety) and the gunners (Elmer).

There are some floor tiles that look differently than normal, and if you keep walking on them, they will break down and eventually disappear. Sometimes getting rid of them will make it easier to get to certain areas, so pay attention to where things are in the level.

Stage 6 introduces the guns. When you use the gun, Bugs will shoot it. If the cork bullet hits a wall, it will turn back into a gun so you can use it again until you hit an enemy with it.

PrinceWatercress plays The Simpsons: Bart and the Beanstalk - Part 2 of 4

This game is from the mid-1990s...so why are the platforms here like the ones in the BBC Micro games from the 1980s? The platforms are moving. I should be moving with them. This was doable at this point, programmers.

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Level 2

After reaching the top of the beanstalk, Bart will see a giant castle through the clouds. 

Sadly, you'll have to move along with the platforms, as the platforms will not move you. This is a 1994 Game Boy game, not a 1984 BBC Micro game, come on.

Watch out for the lightning that strikes form the top of the level. Also, watch out for the missiles that move back and forth. You can't duck, so the only way to avoid them is to move out of the way.

The boss is a cloud that looks like Mr. Burns. He'll drop down, move to one side of the screen, move to the other and then come straight up and strike downwards with a lightning bolt. Sometimes he'll switch it up and move in a complete square after he moves back to the other side. There is a pattern to this, thankfully.

Every so often, the Mr. Burns cloud will stay at the top of the screen and strike you with lightning bolts four times as he moves from one upper corner to the other. He stands still when it strikes, and the only place he won't do it is dead center. After that second thunder bolt, be ready to run under him.

Once you get his movement and attack patterns down, it won't be long before you can slingshot your way to victory against the Mr. Burns cloud.

PrinceWatercress plays The Simpsons: Bart and the Beanstalk - Part 1 of 4

Another Simpsons game from the '90s...and now I'm the one playing it. 

In case you need an explanation about the story, it's Jack and the Beanstalk...except it also involves The Simpsons.

Guess what? It's not that good.

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Level 1

Left and Right let you move, A lets you jump and B lets you shoot pebbles with the slingshot.

Bart's main weapon is the slingshot that he got along with the magic beans from Monty the Miser, but the pebbles don't go very far.

You'll have to collect all 40 gold coins in order to get the boss battle at the end of the stage. If you can collect three coins in very quick succession, you can get some of your health back, and if you grab six in very quick succession, you can get temporary invincibility. There are not many opportunities for you to do anything like this.

You have a life meter at the bottom center. If it runs out, you lose a life. You'll want to try hard not to die, because there isn't much in the way of checkpoints. As a matter of fact, there are none at all.

Dynamite can be used by pressing the Select button. The dynamite will clear the screen of enemies. Sadly, you can only carry one stick of dynamite at a time.

The paper airplanes are a little stronger than your slingshot, but use them wisely. You can only hold either the paper airplanes or the dynamite at any given time, as the game will not let you carry around both.

Use the springy leaves on the beanstalks to jump to higher heights.

You can climb up and down vines with and jump off of them to reach certain areas.

Be careful when falling. The camera is slow to catch up with you, and if you drop from too great a height, Bart will drop beyond the bottom of the gameplay screen and die.

The beetles take three hits before dying. Watch out for the circles of bees that block your path at times, as the only way to get ride of them is with the dynamite.

It should be mentioned that if any enemies move off-screen, you will have to get them back on-screen yourself.

The flies fly around in circles and take two hits to kill.

The music you hear in the first level is in all the other levels, so get used to hearing it.

Some floors fall apart when you step on them; just jump over them to avoid that.

The boss is a giant beetle. Jump over it as it moves from one side of the screen to the other and shoot it down as it jumps straight up. Its pattern will then repeat. This is a really easy boss.

PrinceWatercress plays Sly 2: Band of Thieves - Part 49 of 49

At last...the final confrontation with Clockwerk/Clock-La! How will this all end?

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Mega-Jump Job

Mission Start

A radio pulse will need to be sent out to Carmelita so she can find the blimp. You'll need to jump up four radio towers and power them up via a Mega-Jump pack. By pressing R2 (or whichever button you assign it to), you can perform a super high jump.

Use L3 to find the four radio towers, and use the Mega-Jump Pack button to jump up to the radio towers. You can also Mega-Jump off spire jump points, too. Once you make it to the platforms of the towers, you'll need to make wrap-around jumps to the top of the tower you're on, then press Circle at the very top to activate the tower. Be sure to use the Paraglide to float towards the towers while you are high in the air.

The Mega-Pack will only work for this job; once you're done with this part, the Mega-Pack will be gone.

Carmelita's Gunner

Mission Start

Close to the safe house is where you will meet Carmelita. From here, it's (almost) down to business where Sly mans the turret to take on Clock-La. Like with all the other turrets, you'll need to watch the temperature gauge at the bottom while aiming with the left control stick or D-Pad and firing with R1.

Try to get whatever damage you can on Clock-La as you keep all of her attacks from hitting you. If any missiles are fired at you, destroy them. The missiles with the red trails take multiple shots to destroy. As for the electric rings, they are handled a little differently; unlike the first game, where you had to shoot the rings multiple times to shut off the electricity flowing into the center so you could safely pass through them, you only have to shoot them once here and keep from accidentally hitting them a second time and powering them back on, leading you to shoot them a third time to turn them on again.

If red waves emanate from Clock-La, shoot her multiple times quickly, or else you'll get hit with a powerful psychic shockwave.

Once you beat Clock-La, Clock-La will crash into the blimp, sending the safe house scattering into the air with Bentley and Murray still inside. It's now time to make your getaway, but you'll need to save Bentley and Murray first.

Showdown With Clock-La

Mission Start

You'll have to jump - and Paraglide - from one platform to the next in order to catch up with Clock-La. Hold R1 at all times. When you reach the last platform, jump towards Clock-La and keep Paragliding towards her. You'll eventually land on one of her wings to take her on.

Spire jump your way to the right wing behind Neyla's wing without getting hit. When she looks at you, get a few shots in, and when her eyes glow red, get on the spire jump point at the back of her neck to avoid getting blasted.

After this, Clock-La will crash land in Paris. It's time to finish the job and remove the hate chip inside of Clock-La to power her down for good. As Murray, jump over the lasers, then go up to Clock-La's face and lift up Clock-La's face. From here, you'll play as Bentley. Lay down bombs on the two hinges at the side of Clock-La's mouth and place bombs to blow them up. From there, you can grab the hate chip with Bentley, but when that happens, Clockwerk/Clock-La's beak will crush Bentley, effectively paralyzing him. The Cooper Gang gets away, with Murray carrying Bentley out as Clockwerk/Clock-La explodes.

With Clockwerk's parts destroyed and in heaps, Carmelita destroys the hate chip, which in turn destroys Clockwerk's body and renders all the parts inoperable. Afterwards, Carmelita puts the Cooper Gang under arrest, and Sly proposes he goes quietly while Bentley and Murray are allowed to walk. Carmelita agrees, and Bentley and Murray leave their gear behind as they leave. After Carmelita gets promoted for capturing Sly, Sly and Carmelita get to know each other on the plane ride to prison, but when Carmelita finds out that the plane ride has taken two hours - and Sly notices he has seen the Eiffel Tower seventeen times - Carmelita finds out what is going on and Sly manages to escape, leading to the least cliffhanger-y ending and the easiest 100% completion in the series, due to the game having nothing like the Master Thief Sprints from the first game or the Master Thief Challenges from the third game. Congratulations!

Controls

D-Pad/Left Analog Stick: move

Right Analog Stick: move camera

X: jump and double jump

Square: Horizontal Attack

• horizontal attack (as Sly)
• slam enemies launched into the air from behind (as Sly)
• hook punches (as Murray)
• Thunderflop (as Murray; in mid-air only)
• crossbow swipe (as Bentley)

Triangle: Vertical Attack

• vertical attack (as Sly; used to knock enemies into the air)
• downward dive (as Sly; in mid-air only)
• uppercut (as Murray)
• drop bomb (as Bentley)

Circle: Action button (near blue/green/purple sparkles and character icons)

• pickpocket (as Sly)
• stomp (as Murray; use Square to throw object/enemy)

R1: hold to run

Select: Gadget Grid

• Control Pad: highlight gadget
• X button: confirm gadget
• L1, L2, R2: assign gadget to button pressed

L1, L2, R2: use gadgets assigned to button pressed

Start: pause menu

• Control Pad: select menu choice
• X button: confirm choice
• Start: un-pause game

L3 (press the left analog stick): locate beacons for mission objectives

R3 (press the right analog stick): Enter and exit Binocucom for first-person view

• Left analog stick: look around
• Right analog stick: zoom in and out (with up and down on right stick)

R1: 

• take pictures with spy camera (as Sly; when applicable)
• shoot sleep dart (as Bentley)

Hacking mini-game controls:

• Left analog stick: move
• Right analog stick: aim and fire gun

PrinceWatercress plays Contra - The Longplay

Now for the whole game in one sitting minus commentary. This is one of the hardest longplays I've ever done.

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Stage 1: Jungle

This stage, like most stages, are 2D, side-scrolling and platforming affairs. Left and Right let you not only move around, but aim the gun in conjunction with Up and Down. While you cannot shoot downwards on the ground, you can shoot downwards in the air. A jumps, and B shoots.

The squares with the flashing falcons on them allow you to get power-ups. R is rapid fire and allows for - well - rapid fire as well as faster bullets; M is for machine and gives you a more powerful basic shot; S is the spread shot and not only allows for a five-way shot but also for ten bullets to be on-screen at any given time; L is a powerful, piercing laser; F is a flamethrower that shoots a powerful shot that rotates in a circle; B is for Barrier and gives you temporary invincibility; and the icon with no letter on it at all is a screen-clearing bomb that destroys all enemies.

The soldiers here are pretty basic. Some run at you; others stand there and aim. There are some that hide in the bushes and peek out to attack every so often, and there are also turrets that will track you to a point and shoot at you. Thankfully, those turrets can be taken out. Just remember: one hit and you die. Given that you have only a few lives and only two or three continues, you'll have to get good to survive.

To beat the boss, just destroy the flashing panel at the bottom. If you can rush right up to it as the screen scrolls the boss into existence, you can take it out very quickly; otherwise, destroy the soldier at the top first, then take out the turrets before destroying the flashing panel.

Stage 2: Base 1

Here, you'll be in the first of a few behind-the-back segments. Take out the soldiers as well as any turrets that shoot at you. The flashing circles, or cores, are what you need to aim for, as the wall will explode and the electric barrier in front will go away when you destroy them all. Once you've opened the way, keep holding Up until you reach the next stop-over, where you'll once again battle to get further and further into the base.

The green soldiers will run and shoot, while the red ones will hop continuously and drop power-ups when defeated. Some soldiers throw grenades; the explosions will hurt.

The red cylinders can be jumped over, but if you hold Down as you shoot at them, you'll be able to lie down and shoot low to get rid of them.

To beat the boss, you'll need to destroy the panels first. Be sure to defeat the upper side panels before getting rid of the other four, as you don't want to be shot by their three-way shots at as you take on the main boss. To defeat the main boss, which is a blue circle that moves back and forth, avoid or shoot down the fireballs that it shoots downwards while also shooting at the circle itself. If you have the spread shot, this whole battle is a snap; otherwise, you'll need to tread carefully.

Stage 3: Waterfall

Here, you'll be jumping your way up from platform to platform. Aside from the soldiers, you'll need to watch out for falling rocks that come out of the holes in the background wall as well as the guys in the waterfall who shoot upwards when you get above them enough.

You can get barrier at the bridge with the two flames that move back and forth. Thankfully, those flames are easy to dodge, it's just the soldiers that make it harder.

There are platforms that move back and forth in mid-air as you make your way up; be ready to take advantage of them.

To beat the boss, remember that while the main weak point is the mouth, you can shoot down the arms. Just be ready to avoid the fireballs that the arms shoot at you. If you shoot down the arms, you'll not only get more points, but you'll make this battle easier. All that is left is the fireballs that come out of the mouth, but you can easily position yourself away from them.

Stage 4: Base 2

The flashing tiles will hide the cores you'll need to shoot down to explode the wall.

If you have the spread shot from the last level, it will be very useful here, so try not to die.

At the boss, you'll have more panels to shoot down at first...as well as some soldiers to shoot down. When you destroy the three panels in front, the boss - two droids that phase in and out shoot homing shots at you - will show. The earlier you destroy the upper panel that shoots the three-way shot, the better.

You can shoot down the homing shots, but you can also jump over them even though they will loop back around.

Stage 5: Snow Field

New enemies include enemies on machine guns, but the worst are the bombs that are thrown at you from the background. You cannot destroy the bombs; just avoid the explosions and move on.

Be ready to move back a bit to take out the guys in the water. It will help a great deal.

To take down the tanks with the spikes in the front, go all the way to the left, face right and keep shooting. The cannon fire will not hit you, and as long as you keep firing, the tanks will go down.

The boss here teleports in and out. Be sure to take out the saucers that come down after traveling to the sides of the screen, and never stand directly below the boss so its bombs don't hit you.

Stage 6: Energy Zone

The main hazard here is the flame jets that will come out of the holes in the walls and ceilings. Watch how far they go and when they shoot, then make your move.

The boss is a giant robot. Jump over him when he moves towards you. When he jumps straight up, be ready to shoot and either shoot down or avoid the spiked discs that he throws. He should go down in no time.

Stage 7: Hangar

The biggest threat in this area is the extending spike columns. They will be in patterns, so keep an eye out.

Watch out on the brown floors for spiked walls that rise up. Interestingly, you can stand on them, even though running straight into them can kill you.

You can ride the mine carts to get to higher areas. You'll need these to take the top route on the last fork, as on the bottom route, you have to jump near the ceiling spikes in order to get them to come down. Because of this, it's better to take the top route.

The boss here is a door. Go up to it, keep firing on the flashing orange panel above the door and you'll be able to move into Stage 8, the final stage of the game.

Stage 8: Alien's Lair

Enemies that you will be dealing with are the floating orange aliens that fly at you as well as the purple mouth panels in the floors and ceilings that shoot homing projectiles at you. The projectiles slowly move towards you, but they and the mouth panels can easily be destroyed if you have the Fireball or spread shot.

You will face a giant purple alien mouth creature behind a wall. Get up to the wall and shoot at it, and

The purple aliens on four legs will come at you from the floors and the ceilings. Be ready to shoot them down.

The final boss is the heart of the alien itself. Keep shooting down the heart and it will go down. If you need to, stay near the heart and take out the enemies above and below (preferably below) the heart, then wail on the heart itself. When the heart is destroyed, the battle is won and you've beaten the game! Congratulations!