Battletoads: The OST

Yes, we has every song from Battletoads.

FreezingInfernos plays Battletoads - Part 6 of 6

We're finally nearing The Dark Queen herself! But first we have to ride on walls and die a zillion times from some giant orb before we can get there!

Level 11 - Clinger-Winger

You'll grab on the Clinger-Winger and outrun a killer Hypno Orb that's naturally faster than you. Your only chance is to hold the D-Pad in the direction you're going and take the corners perfectly.

There's the easy way: pause at every corner and change directions on the D-Pad before unpausing. This will pay off near the end as the Hypno Orb  That, or you could do it like a normal human being and just do it all in one shot.

When you reach the end, you'll take on the Hypno Orb itself. The Hypno Orb has two attacks. The first one is electrocution, which happens if you come in contact with it. It takes two shocks to kill you. The second one is a high bounce where the Hypno Orb tries to squish you. This attack is instant death.

Headbutt this thing into a corner and keep attacking it headbutts. Punch it a couple of times and you'll be able to throw the Hypno Orb. Do it.

Level 12 - The Revolution

Before Kirby's Adventure and a whole slew of 16-bit games did the rotating tower thing, Battletoads brought the idea of a column-like setting that stays in place yet rotates as we move around it. Needless to say, this makes beating the whole game worth it.

You'll be running around the tower trying to find the platform. It's the only way you're going to be able to make it up the tower.

Punch out the yellow rhino and give him a few headbutts, then get the rod at the top before you start climbing. You're going to need that rod. Avoid the spiked balls and jump up the platforms. The green ones stay put, the yellow ones lower a little bit while the orange ones are springboards.

The green cloud will try to blow you around. If you have the rod, you can easily whack it out of existence. Otherwise, you'll have to time headbutts.

The red rhino is a little bigger and will try to get you in his mouth (which is instant death). Again, the rod works wonders.

The red clouds blow poison gas bubbles that result in instant death.

After a while, you'll see some revolving platforms. If you can get on them, you'll be able to stand still and revolve around the entire tower at the same time. Time it so you can get to the next platform.

The poles are for the big red cloud that moves up the side of the screen, pausing to try to blow you off of the tower. If you're on the ground when he's blowing you around, you're dead. Hang onto a pole to save yourself.

After the first big red cloud, run around until you find the platforms. The platforms will start disappearing and reappearing, so you'd better be ready to jump straight up a couple of times in a row pretty quickly.

You'll see another one. This time around, you'll have to use the revolving springboard to get to the pole, then get back down to it and continue climbing from there.

You'll then have to contend with a yellow cloud. This one will try to push you off the tower at all costs, so lure it to the edge opposite where you're going and them make a mad dash up the platforms. You'll be doing this for the last segment of this tower. When you make it to the top, it's time for...

Level 13 - Armageddon

You'll finally face the Dark Queen here.

Her one attack is turning into a tornado and flying around, but she can also kick you if you get too close to her.

Your only hope is to headbutt her and stay one on the move. If you stay in one spot (especially in the corner), you're going to take damage. You'll want to time your headbutts right so that you hit her while her knee isn't raised, otherwise you're going to get hit.

When you beat the Dark Queen, do not stand in the center of the screen. The Dark Queen can still kill you after she's beaten you on her way up. She releases Princess Angelica and Pimple, then she flies off.

You've finally beaten one of the hardest games in existence.

FreezingInfernos plays Battletoads - Part 5 of 6

Remember when Andrew Mason was fired as CEO of Groupon and he mentioned the Terra Tubes in his resignation letter?

You're about to see exactly how bad the Terra Tubes are.

Level 9 - Terra Tubes

The robots here not only have the ability to zap you with lasers, but they also explode as soon as they touch you. The explosion results in instant death.

The water slows you down immensely. It also lets you jump higher if you jump upstream.

The ropes on helicopter blades will send you either up or down, depending on where you are. You'll have to swerve around to avoid the spikes.

After the second copter rope, you'll be running away from gears. For the first gear, jump over the pool of water. Jump straight up when you reach your supposed doom and can't go any further for the the second one.

When running away from the third gear, jump in and out of the water as you go up the corridor to give yourself more momentum and speed up a little bit. DO NOT HIDE IN THE HOLE. YOU WILL DIE. For the fourth gear, hold the D-Pad opposite the direction you fall down the corridors from to avoid the spikes.

You'll then be some underwater segments. Press A to swim upwards, and press and hold A to jump out of the water when you're at the surface so you can clear the huge spikes. There are also electric eels that will be in your path. Be careful.

You'll also be dealing with goldfish in the underwater segments. They do two or three hits worth of damage, but they can knock you into spikes in the more open areas, which make them the most annoying enemies in the level.

The sharks will chase after you, but you can punch them as well as all the other underwater enemies.

You'll then see the fifth gear after the two sharks. Get down in the hole near the barrier where the spikes are at the bottom to avoid the gear. Do the same for the sixth gear.

Punch out the ducks so that they're upside down. You can only stun them for a couple of seconds when you do this, so move past them quickly. The ducks are instant death if they manage to bite you...yet the sharks can only do two damage. wut

You'll then go through a maze lined with spikes. You'll want to lure the goldfish here towards the bottom so that it is easier to get through the maze without the goldfish bumping you right into spikes. At least the 1-up near the last checkpoint respawns every time you die.

After the maze, grab the rope on a helicopter and weave to and fro through the downward corridor, avoiding the spikes. When you reach the bottom, immediately go right. You're done.

Level 10 - Rat Race

You'll have to race a rat to the bomb at the bottom!

This level is just like the Intruder Excluder, right down to the traps. The only difference is that you're going down instead of up and the palette for the level is a red hue rather than a blue.

Once you go down a little bit, the rat will show up. Go down the holes as quickly as possible and you'll be able to stay one step ahead of the rat the entire time.

When you reach the bomb, kick it immediately. Then, shoulder tackle the rat as he drops down before giving him a boot as well. Mission accomplished!

Oh, wait, you can't pull it off? Well, don't feel bad. That usually takes precise timing to be able to do. You'll have to outrun the rat two more times.

The second run is about as bad as the first, but now you have the moving gaps to deal with. On the third run, the rat's even faster. The only way to beat the rat the third time around is to keep on running through the area normally, and hit him with the headbutt whenever he's near you. You'll need to time it so that this causes the rat to miss the gap, giving you about a second or two to get a slight lead again every time you pull it off.

When you finally get rid of the third bomb, you'll fight General Slaughter. Just like Robo-Manus, the General moves faster and becomes more difficult the more you hit him. Hit him a couple of times to get him moving, then hit him with well-timed headbutts from either side of the screen. You'll want to time your headbutts so that they hit him as he jumps up after running into a wall.

General Slaughter also has a ram attack. If he hits you with, expect to be put in a pattern where he hits you with it again and again as you're coming back down, resulting in instant death. Just time your headbutts right and you should be able to do this.

FreezingInfernos plays Battletoads - Part 4 of 6

asdf

Level 7 - Volkmire's Inferno

This level is much like the Turbo Tunnel. You're fighting a bunch of rats and you're making some more dashing leaps to the next platform.

Sometime after the beginning (at the fourth platform), you'll see logs move back and forth. You'll want to stand on them in order to get to the next platform without falling off of it.

Dodge the bullet squirrels. You'll see the Space Invaders one last time, as well as the rats. The background will change to a hypnotizing inferno, and that's when you'll see the jetplane.

Ride the jetplane and fly through the gaps in the electric barriers. Some walls will open while others will try to close on you. For the latter, stay just right of center and you should be able to get through them.

Up next are the fireballs. They come out at random. Staying in the center is ideal, and if you can get the one-up near the end, do it.

The next part can be done in one of two ways. There will be instant-death rockets that shoot up into the air before they come down. You can dodge them the normal way, but the rockets show up in random spots every time. Instead, move to the bottom of the screen. The rockets do not have a hitbox when they are at the bottom of the screen, giving you free reign to focus on dodging them on their way back down.

Next up is more electric barriers. After an interesting pattern, it's three barriers opening followed by three closing, one opening and one closing.

The final section is more electric barriers, but they come out much like the walls in the Turbo Tunnel...and your timing has to be impeccable. Find the opening and fly through it. You'll have to move to the gap of the last barrier before the second-to-last one goes offscreen.

Level 8 - Intruder Excluder

This level is a vertical shaft.

Grab the bar at the beginning. You'll be using it against the robots that shoot electricity from both sides. If they flash, duck to avoid the zaps. If you stand between the center and one of the sides of the robots, you won't get hit.

Jump through the gaps in the platforms when you see them. If the tips of the gaps are bright yellow, wait for the electrical shock to disappear before jumping through them.

The springs let you jump higher, and you'll be jumping on a few of them in succession at times in order to get further up the shaft.

The clouds of gas are instant death if they touch you. The yellow fans will suck you in and cut you to mincemeat if you touch them.

When you reach the top, you'll meet Robo-Manus. Duck under his gunshots, then hit him. Avoid him when he jumps around. All of his attacks are instant death. The more damage you do to him, the quicker it takes for him to hop after he shoots his gun. You'll take him down eventually, though.

Angry Video Game Nerd: 2-Player Battletoads

AVGN plays Battletoads with the guitar guy. Rage ensues.

FreezingInfernos plays Battletoads - Part 3 of 6

In the next two levels, we surf on both water and snakes...in the most dangerous way possible.

Level 5 - Surf City

Here, you'll be surfing from Point A to Point B. It's like the Turbo Tunnel, but slightly more forgiving.

The logs will take three squares off of your life. This is the cruelest joke I've seen involving wood on the PrinceWatercress Blog since the planks going down the waterfalls in Ninja Gaiden for Master System dealt more damage than all the other non-boss enemies (three hits compared to one or two for everything else).

The whirlpools, on the other hand, will outright kill you, but at least you have a better chance at avoiding them than the two logs that go up and down.

You'll deal with four Space Invaders, then you'll take on another gold robot just like the ones in Level 1. Grab a rod after you destroy the first one and use it to destroy the second gold robot. You'll then take on Big Bragg.

You could fight him the old-fashioned way where you wait for him to stop jumping around, but guess what? One hit from his jumping tail swipes and he could potentially end you by jumping on you while you're down, squashing you and instantly killing you. The fact that he also does that move at random too does not bode very well, as the tail swipes do two blocks of damage and give him the ability to whack you multiple times while you're knocked out and the high jump will kill you if he lands on you.

An easy way to do this involves the rod from the gold robots. Lure Big Bragg towards the side of the screen by standing there, then move out of the way and quickly whack him while he's the side on the screen. Just mash the attack button. He can break out of this pattern, but with a little luck, he won't. Mission accomplished, and with minimal unnecessary damage, at least.

You'll be surfing again after this. Jump over the waterfall and avoid the mines. Unlike the walls, the mines are randomly placed, so your memorization skills from the Turbo Tunnel are no good here. Thankfully, the mines are the only thing you have to deal with at the end. Just be sure to hit the ramps to sail over the pits.

Level 6 - Karnath's Lair

Also affectionately known as the Snake Pit.

There's nothing to kill here; instead, this is nothing but platforming. You'll be climbing up snakes, standing on them, and jumping from one snake to another.

Wait until just before the tail of the snake has entered its destination to jump. You'll land on the next snake on your way down. Jump into the side of the snake and press Up to climb it.

There are four sections, and each is harder than the last. The entrance to the next section is signified by a hole with the word "Out" above it.

The second section introduces spikes, which makes messing up here very unforgiving. 

The last snake in section two is fast. Be ready to race to the "Out" hole.

The third one gets a little trickier. Wait for the first snake to enter its destination. Don't jump. Just drop straight down and you'll land on the second snake. Be careful with your jumps between spikes, as you'll be jumping in spaces between two spikes. Wait for the third snake to loop once to climb on it, then hurry to the wall and jump to the fourth snake. From here on out, be ready to jump over spikes and run like a dog is chasing after your ass to the exit. Jump to the next snake everytime. Remember that snakes with black stripes are fast...very fast.

In section four, jump left over the spikes, then jump left again when you reach the next platform set. Latch onto the snake here, and jump to the second snake. Keep going left at its destination, and jump straight up over the end of its tail. Be careful not to land directly on the head of the third snake, as you will fall right through it if you do. From here, there are two things you can do when you reach the fourth snake in the fourth section.

The first is to wait until it makes it fourth turn, then drop down from the side at the right time to land on it as it goes back into the wall. Two more high-speed snakes that go straight forward, one above the other, followed by the seventh snake which requires a leap of faith to the right before the tail appears. (This snake has black stripes but is an exception to the "black stripes" rule.) From there, the rest is easy.

The second is much more convenient, but requires a little bit of practice to pull off. Wait for the fourth snake to make its first turn by running on the back of the snake, then leap to the right when the third turn has been made. From there, you can reach the "Out" hole easily. Either way, you're there.

FreezingInfernos plays Battletoads - Part 2 of 6

Oh, great. The Turbo Tunnel. Say goodbye to what made the game cool in the first two levels, because at this point the game becomes pure hell!

Level 3 - Turbo Tunnel

First things first: you probably figured this out already, but double-tapping Left or Right on the Control Pad lets you run in that direction. You'll need to do this to ensure that you clear the pits between platforms here.

You'll take on some rats. As you attack them, you'll knock them into the ground. Literally. At this point, just keep attacking them as they're half buried before they shake themselves back out. Your Battletoad will keep punting them in the head until...IT'S GOOD! On the smaller platforms, kick them with your back facing the edges, as that final kick can send you sailing off the edge and towards an unnecessary and unforgiving death.

The Space Invaders steal your health. Literally. Nope, not just figuratively. Literally. Yes, literally. They literally fly up to your health bar and steal the filled in squares that indicate your hit points. Attack them and pick the squares up by touching them to get them back. There are also two flies you can eat right after this, just in case.

Oh, hey, the pause music. Whaddya mean, this is where the fun ends?

Get on the bike. When you see pink walls flashing, it will indicate where they're about to appear in mere seconds...or if you're going fast, mere instances. You do not want to fly towards where the wall is or else you will crash, burn and immediately lose a life. Dodge them. You can jump over them, but it's not recommended.

The two short walls together must be jumped over. No exceptions.

The ride gets faster and faster, and the only way to slow down is to hit the tape between the checkpoints. When you hit them, you go all the way down to a near-dead stop and slowly build speed up again.

The short wall that slopes upward is a ramp. Most of these you'll want to take, as they are the only way you can clear these amazingly long pits.

If a wall or set of short walls is blue instead of pink, it's in the air. The fact that there is a shadow below it really helps. When you see the blue walls or any wall with a shadow, do not jump towards it. You will die.

Of course, there is also a blue ramp that you will need to take as well. They just have to throw in the blue ramps almost immediately.

The squirrels riding on bullets drop walls when they reach the other end of the screen. Watch where they are, as they're a better clue of where the walls they drop will be than the walls themselves. The walls are rather short, and you can jump over them.

After some more air walls (and air ramps) you'll see some enemy ships. Just jump over them. They're easy to avoid.

You'll then deal with some short platforms that you'll have to jump to and from. Just stay the course and press A near the edge, especially as soon as you land.

The part after this, however, is the most unkindest cut of all. You have to dodge all the walls in your path by bobbing up and down with the D-Pad. There are 20 walls in this set, and after this is just so easy to jump over walls followed by the end checkpoint.

You may have noticed that there is some sort of yellow sparkle in front of the 10th wall in that last speedy section. If you run headfirst into that wall, you'll go through the sparkle and trigger a warp to Level 5. (You'll learn about all the warps eventually, so don't worry.)

Oh, and the longer you last, the more points you can get from the bike section. Expect to farm a lot of points just from normal gameplay.

Level 4 - Arctic Caverns

Great. Hell just froze over.

If you ever see a random set of white sparkles come out like a firework, you just hit a checkpoint. You'll return to that spot if you die.

This is what happens when you finally make your way through the Turbo Tunnel and live to tell about it.

The spinning ice cubes are absolutely necessary for this stage, as they are the only way to break through the barriers that block your path. These things can hurt you, so you'll want to outrun them and stay out of their way afterwards. If you can jump over it, do so.

To beat the snowmen, stand near a pile of snowballs and avoid their projectiles, then throw a snowball at them with the B button. It takes one snowball to destroy them, thankfully.

You'll then reach a set of slopes. Wait at the end of each one so you can avoid the frosty boulders that come down and proceed to the next slope. At the end you'll reach a snowman. This time, you'll have to use your physical attacks to smash him into a pile of snowballs (which he turns into regardless of how you do away with him). Use the snowballs to break the barrier.

Jump over the spiked turtle shell. That's all you can do.

Run down the slopes and get to the bottom before the ice cube does. Jump over the post, then wait for the snowman to destroy the barrier in front of you with his snowballs.

At this point, everything takes two hits off of your life bar. Prepare to die quicker deaths this early in the game.

You'll also start seeing spikes that look like fuschia-colored sea urchins. Touching them results in instant death. Take the platform over the ice spikes. Thankfully, it's not slippery. Duck to avoid the random snowball.

To avoid the icicle, you'll want to go left as soon as you clear the spikes. This way, the icicle can't even touch you. You'll want to tap the A button just right so you don't get stabbed in the head, too.

The two snowmen following this have patterns. The first one throws them all low, first one snowball, then two, then repeats. Use this pattern to get close to him and smash him to a pulp. For the second, it's a high ball followed by a low ball. Dodge accordingly at every post and smash him when he stops throwing. Use the snowballs from the second snowman to break the barrier.

Go down the slopes and avoid the spinning ice blocks. Get on the platforms. Duck under the stalactite. Jump to grab the 1-Up on the second platform. Continue on. After dodging three spiked shells, an ice cube will come your way but slow down. Pick it up with the B button. Go left and throw it at the barrier and get on the post so a spiked shell doesn't smack into you.

Continue on by lightly jumping left and then continuing down the slope. Be quick on that slope so you can avoid the boulder. Jump over the spike pit while near the edge, and jump over the snowman. Get on the platform, duck under the stalactite, jump to the barrier and stay there. Wait for the snowballs from the snowman to destroy the barrier as you avoid them at the same time. Duck under the first three snowballs. Jump over the fourth.

Continue to the left after getting on the platform. Avoid the spiked shell, and never stand under the yellow barriers that go up when the shell bumps into them, as they come back down almost immediately and result in instant death. You'll be doing this twice. Get on the platform at the top of this part and jump over the spikes to the right. You're done.

NOW ENJOY A DEATH MONTAGE! Apparently the ice cubes have a mind of their own.

FreezingInfernos plays Battletoads - Part 1 of 6

Frezno has Battletoads.

Get ready for one of the most difficult games of all time! Pimple and Princess Angelica have both been captured by the Dark Queen, and the Battletoads have to beat the Queen to get them back!

Level 1 - Ragnarok's Canyon

Beating enemies up is simple enough. Get close to them and mash the B button over and over until Rash's (or Zit's, for Player 2) fist becomes cartoonishly enlarged on the final blow.

The gold robots are really interesting. Keep punching them to get them to lean further back and land the final blow. You'll be close to doing just a little more damage to break them. The head and one of the legs can be used as weapons, and if you pick up the leg and whack robot parts, you'll be able to destroy them for points.

When you see flies, use the B button to try to catch them with your tongue. They never appear simultaneously with enemies, so don't worry about losing health until after you get them.

Wait for the red dragons to swoop down before you hit them, so you don't take unnecessary damage. You can also ride on one through what's left of the level if you can get it on the ground somehow.

There's a 1-Up just before the boss battle, so be sure to line yourself up before you go down the pit. You've only got one shot at it.

The boss is a robot. You'll be looking at it through it's visor, but you'll still be playing as one of the Battletoads. Stay away from the crosshairs, especially when the boss is shooting its lasers. Pick up the rock with the B button, then press B to toss it at the robot. The robot goes down after three hits.

Level 2 - Wookie Hole

Birds, toad-eating plants and laser-shooting robots all want you dead as you rappel down a mile-deep chasm.

To do the wrecking ball attack, stand to the side and wait, then repeatedly tap B. You'll become a green wrecking ball that sails clear to the other side of the chasm, taking out anything in your path. This works especially well on the laser-shooting robots, as it lets you take them out in a mere two hits.

The birds that fly around can give you a blade weapon that you can work with when you defeat it. Just touch the blade as it's in the air and you'll have a much powerful weapon to work with. You'll stand in place as you use it, but you have much more control over your Battletoad, which makes this a weapon to go for.

Just don't let those birds near the rope you're rappelling down from. If it snaps, it's instant death.

The birds can also be struck repeatedly after they're dead. If you can continuously strike them and keep them on the screen long enough, you can get more and more points, and ultimately, more extra lives.

Avoid the electrical barriers that slowly extend to the other side of the chasm as you dodge past them. Stay close to the bottom of the screen (but not too close) and you should be able to get past these barriers before they reach the other side of the chasm and become unavoidable.