Some French guy reviews the game in a way not dissimilar to AVGN.
One thing's for sure in the review...the game sucks.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Brian Sulpher plays Bart vs. The Space Mutants - Part 3 of 5
Here's a question...why look for balloons at Krustyland when you can just buy them at the Wal-Mart? I mean, there is the Life Celebrations department, right?
Level 3: Balloons
The third level takes place in Krustyland. Here, the ingredient for the weapon this time is balloons. Yeah, I think you know what to do by now.
Anyway, there are two balloons at the start. You'll also see a barrel rolling on the ground that you'll have to jump over, which thankfully isn't hard at all. Just jump onto the window of the tent and jump to the ceiling to get the two balloons. The first enemy you'll see here is some midget. You'll see a bunch of them jumping around, but they're not too hard to avoid.
The games are interesting, as they can get you coins if you're good at them. The first one is tic-tac-toe, where you have to time your throws so that you can get three in a row. The second one is a "guess the number" game that you can cheat at and win every time if you got the magnet back in the first level. (I told you you'd need it later.) You can also win an extra life for playing this game as well. The third game has you popping balloons. You have to pop either three blue ones or three red ones, depending on what it tells you to do at the bottom of the screen. If you win, the rest will pop, you'll get credit for all nine balloons, and you get another extra life. The last game is a shooting game which is pretty easy - if you can get the required 100 points with the 20 shots and 10 seconds you have, you can win another extra life.
After two more balloons, you'll see bombs being tossed at you. The kid tossing them is Adele (sp?), that crazy exchange student from that episode from when Bart was taken to France. Avoid the bombs as well as the clowns that move around when you climb the ladder to hit the bell and win three coins. Also, you'll find the slingshot and another balloon near the strongman post. Use the slingshot to hit balloons that are flying around in the air.
You'll see more bombs being tossed at you, so be careful as you move past the next two balloons. They're being tossed by a guy on the dumping station. If you can hit the target with the slingshot, you can put an end to his bomb tossing.
After a few more balloons, you'll go into the fun house. You need not pull off the Dizzy Doors challenge (where you have to turn all the doors pink) but if you can do it, you can get four free balloons. The next challenge is the pipes that shoot air upwards. You'll have to float above these to get across. Wait until Bart goes up and down about three or four times, then move to the next set of pipes. If you're lucky, you can get some coins.
Thankfully, I managed to find the solution for those of you who do want to do it.
1 2 3
4 5 6
7 8 9
Imagine these nine numbers are the doors. Apparently, opening the doors in the center opens the doors on both sides of it (if you open 2, you'll also open 1 and 3). Opening the doors in the middle row opens the doors above and below it (if you open 4, you'll also open 1 and 7). Opening the doors in the corners opens the other corner doors closest to it (if you open Door 1, you'll also open 3 and 7, but not 9). If you open 5, you'll open 2, 4, 6 and 8 along with it.
Open 5 first, then open 1. This will put the closed doors in an L pattern. From there, open 4. This leaves the entire top row closed. Open 2...and there you go. Four balloons in seconds flat. Just like the balloon game, this game doesn't start until you make your first move, so if you need to refer to this right when you get here to look up what the pattern is, feel free.
Go up the platforms, watching out for any bombs that might fall from the sky. Keep going until you see a platform between the giant Krusty's eyes. Take it down to the Krusty face's mouth, take the 1-Up and go in. You'll find a secret room where you can find two balloons and four coins.
If you're leaving out of Krusty's mouth, super jump off the red platform that immediately proceeds it as soon as possible so you don't fall into a pit and die. Run to the right, avoiding the midgets. You're out of the fun house.
Get any more balloons you need as you avoid clowns and midgets. You'll then have to take a Ferris wheel across a pit. If you can somehow stand on the middle of the Ferris wheel, you can get another extra life.
If you're still short on balloons (heaven forbid), go into the ticket booth to warp back to the first tent.
Once you're past this, you'll fight Sideshow Bob. If Lisa is on-screen, she'll drop bowling balls to help you out. You have to stomp on his feet, then wait as he hops around a few times before making a big leap. When he's stunned and the stars are flying around his head, jump on his feet again. The trick here is to stay in close so that he'll leap over you every single time. He'll go down after a few hits.
Brian Sulpher plays Bart vs. The Space Mutants - Part 2 of 5
Why hasn't Chief Wiggum busted this mall yet for the violations from the cement pits yet? Geez...
Level 2: Hats
The next level has the aliens changing the main ingredients from purple objects to hats. (I know, this makes no sense whatsoever.) You'll now be in the Springfield Mall...and everything purple is blue again!
Keep the X-Ray specs handy at all times, since people will be walking all over the place and you don't want to lose health from hitting an actual human on the head.
The main thing to do here is to collect hats. Whether it's finding them out in the open or knocking them off people's heads, grab as many as you can. You'll be spelling Marge's name here, so hopefully finding the letters for this stage shouldn't be too hard. Also, keep a lookout for coins that pop out when you leap onto the trash cans in this level.
Let the donuts jump over, and get over and under the marshmallows any way that you can (the marshmallows either jump up and down or leap back and forth). You'll soon reach a pit of cement, and the only way across is usually either jumping on candy bars or jumping on lollipops. For the first pit, get on the second candy bar and jump on it three times. It'll automatically take you across the pit. Bet you didn't know that.
The barber poles move up and down at various speeds, so take care as you time your movements around them accordingly. Sometimes, you'll have to jump over them. Use a Super Jump and you won't have to worry about taking unnecessary damage.
You'll then meet Skinner. If you use the X-Ray Specs, you'll find out he's possessed by a space mutant. He'll then throw coins at you (or is he shooting a gun? I can't tell) so jump on his head. Also, take the time to knock the hat off of his head, too. Jump on his head three times to get rid of him and get another letter. You'll then make contact with an escalator that takes you to the second floor.
Once you're there, jump on the first trash can you see and hold Down on the Control Pad. You'll find a hidden room with a bunch of hats in it...score!
Anyway, there should be another human that's possessed by a space mutant; hit him on the head when you discover him to get another letter. The enemies you'll see here are shoes. The first pair you'll see are tennis shoes that walk on their own; the second pair is a pair of ballerina shoes that walk back and forth and leap into the air from time to time.
It's at the ballerina shoes that Brian Sulpher shows us a trick. Get on the trash can near the first pair of ballerina shoes and jump on it five times. You'll get three coins that you'll have to be quick to get. Then get back on it and jump seven times. You'll get five hats to pop out of the can one at a time. Keep jumping and you'll get a Jebediah Springfield head, which makes you invincible. Do it a couple more times, and you'll get a 1-Up. Get back on it, jump 14 times in a row (be careful of those shoes) and a few of the developers' names will pop out. Pick them up and you'll get a buttload of coins.
The third shoe you'll see is a single loafer that moves around similarly to the marshmallows. The cleats move around and try to kick you in the keister, so be careful near them. The boots try to crush you, like the Thwomps in Super Mario Bros. 3. The spring shoes come in pairs, so be ready to run under them. You'll then see another pair of shoes trying to moonwalk. Ha! Michael Jackson reference, that's funny.
You'll then see Smithers again, this time riding in a giant shoe. Ironically, you'll be in front of a store called "The Really Big Shoe." He'll try to stomp on you with this boot. If you can stomp on his head just once, you'll get another letter (if you need it) and the chance to move on. Just be airborne when the boot hits the ground.
You'll then reach the third floor. After a few space mutants, you'll see boxes with legs and heads jutting out of them hopping around, so move accordingly. Looks like a bunch of magician's assistants are pretty mad...
You'll seen see top hats on the ground with rabbits popping out of them. When the rabbits are in the air, quickly run through the top hats to collect them. The rabbits will still be around, so be careful.
The next enemy is a ghost sheet. Wait for it to fly above you before proceeding.
You'll then reach another wet cement pit, this time with magician's wands acting as platforms. What's with all the magic related stuff in this floor of the mall? Is there a surplus of magic props in Springfield? Anyway, jump all the way to the last wand, then jump straight up before crossing to the other side. A Jebediah Springfield head falls from the sky. Get back on the third wand, grab the head, and run past the floating magic rings (which you'd usually have to leap dead center through).
You'll then see bigger magic wands that act like the barber poles from earlier. Once again, jump and move accordingly, since this is nothing new.
You'll then meet Skinner again. This time, he'll teleport from one spot to another and then shoot at you. Hit his head three times and try not to be in close when he attacks.
You'll be at the fourth floor of this mall soon afterward. Run all the way to the right, since there's nothing here except the boss.
The boss here is Mrs. Botz, the Babysitter Bandit. She'll drop suitcases at you. When they hit the floor, touch them so that they hit the guy on their way back up. If you have Marge, she'll shoot some of the suitcases as long as they're directly in front of her and not anywhere near her.
You'll have to make a running jump on the suitcases, then run away so that she'll unwittingly run into them. After five hits, she's history.
Keep the X-Ray specs handy at all times, since people will be walking all over the place and you don't want to lose health from hitting an actual human on the head.
The main thing to do here is to collect hats. Whether it's finding them out in the open or knocking them off people's heads, grab as many as you can. You'll be spelling Marge's name here, so hopefully finding the letters for this stage shouldn't be too hard. Also, keep a lookout for coins that pop out when you leap onto the trash cans in this level.
Let the donuts jump over, and get over and under the marshmallows any way that you can (the marshmallows either jump up and down or leap back and forth). You'll soon reach a pit of cement, and the only way across is usually either jumping on candy bars or jumping on lollipops. For the first pit, get on the second candy bar and jump on it three times. It'll automatically take you across the pit. Bet you didn't know that.
The barber poles move up and down at various speeds, so take care as you time your movements around them accordingly. Sometimes, you'll have to jump over them. Use a Super Jump and you won't have to worry about taking unnecessary damage.
You'll then meet Skinner. If you use the X-Ray Specs, you'll find out he's possessed by a space mutant. He'll then throw coins at you (or is he shooting a gun? I can't tell) so jump on his head. Also, take the time to knock the hat off of his head, too. Jump on his head three times to get rid of him and get another letter. You'll then make contact with an escalator that takes you to the second floor.
Once you're there, jump on the first trash can you see and hold Down on the Control Pad. You'll find a hidden room with a bunch of hats in it...score!
Anyway, there should be another human that's possessed by a space mutant; hit him on the head when you discover him to get another letter. The enemies you'll see here are shoes. The first pair you'll see are tennis shoes that walk on their own; the second pair is a pair of ballerina shoes that walk back and forth and leap into the air from time to time.
It's at the ballerina shoes that Brian Sulpher shows us a trick. Get on the trash can near the first pair of ballerina shoes and jump on it five times. You'll get three coins that you'll have to be quick to get. Then get back on it and jump seven times. You'll get five hats to pop out of the can one at a time. Keep jumping and you'll get a Jebediah Springfield head, which makes you invincible. Do it a couple more times, and you'll get a 1-Up. Get back on it, jump 14 times in a row (be careful of those shoes) and a few of the developers' names will pop out. Pick them up and you'll get a buttload of coins.
The third shoe you'll see is a single loafer that moves around similarly to the marshmallows. The cleats move around and try to kick you in the keister, so be careful near them. The boots try to crush you, like the Thwomps in Super Mario Bros. 3. The spring shoes come in pairs, so be ready to run under them. You'll then see another pair of shoes trying to moonwalk. Ha! Michael Jackson reference, that's funny.
You'll then see Smithers again, this time riding in a giant shoe. Ironically, you'll be in front of a store called "The Really Big Shoe." He'll try to stomp on you with this boot. If you can stomp on his head just once, you'll get another letter (if you need it) and the chance to move on. Just be airborne when the boot hits the ground.
You'll then reach the third floor. After a few space mutants, you'll see boxes with legs and heads jutting out of them hopping around, so move accordingly. Looks like a bunch of magician's assistants are pretty mad...
You'll seen see top hats on the ground with rabbits popping out of them. When the rabbits are in the air, quickly run through the top hats to collect them. The rabbits will still be around, so be careful.
The next enemy is a ghost sheet. Wait for it to fly above you before proceeding.
You'll then reach another wet cement pit, this time with magician's wands acting as platforms. What's with all the magic related stuff in this floor of the mall? Is there a surplus of magic props in Springfield? Anyway, jump all the way to the last wand, then jump straight up before crossing to the other side. A Jebediah Springfield head falls from the sky. Get back on the third wand, grab the head, and run past the floating magic rings (which you'd usually have to leap dead center through).
You'll then see bigger magic wands that act like the barber poles from earlier. Once again, jump and move accordingly, since this is nothing new.
You'll then meet Skinner again. This time, he'll teleport from one spot to another and then shoot at you. Hit his head three times and try not to be in close when he attacks.
You'll be at the fourth floor of this mall soon afterward. Run all the way to the right, since there's nothing here except the boss.
The boss here is Mrs. Botz, the Babysitter Bandit. She'll drop suitcases at you. When they hit the floor, touch them so that they hit the guy on their way back up. If you have Marge, she'll shoot some of the suitcases as long as they're directly in front of her and not anywhere near her.
You'll have to make a running jump on the suitcases, then run away so that she'll unwittingly run into them. After five hits, she's history.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Brian Sulpher plays Bart vs. The Space Mutants - Part 1 of 5
Why is Marge wearing red? Why is Maggie wearing green? Why are Homer's shoes brown? Why are Lisa's shoes black? Why is Marge in a red dress with black shoes? And why does Bart have red socks on?
Also, this is BrianSulpher from GameFAQs playing the game. He's got a lot of NES FAQs; go check those out while you're surveying his YouTube account.
Also, this is BrianSulpher from GameFAQs playing the game. He's got a lot of NES FAQs; go check those out while you're surveying his YouTube account.
Anyway, this is not a very good game, folks. And if you don't feel like listening to James Rolfe (the Angry Video Game Nerd) to find that out, well...
Level 1: Purple-Colored Objects
Bart's shorts and shoes are purple...and so is Maggie's bow, pacifier and the HUD. How wonderful. The purple's enough to make you sick.
Anyway, in the first level, the aliens need purple-colored objects to power up...whatever their super-weapon is...
To get the one-up that you see almost immediately, you'll have to make a running super jump off the trash can by letting go of A and immediately pressing A and B at the same time afterwards. (Thankfully, Brian Sulpher explains this to you less than 90 seconds into this, as well as everything else that you need to know before getting deep into this game...or a pile of shit, depending on how you see this game.) After that, jump on the head of the first human you see. Pick up the little flashing thing that the alien leaves behind, and you'll collect a letter to spell out a Simpsons family member's name (in this case, it's Maggie). When you spell the name out completely, they'll be able to help you out in the boss battle.
Anyway, get the spray paint can, then spray the wastebasket at the beginning, as well as the Space Mutant 4 poster next to the theatre entrance. Go to the payphone, look through your inventory for the coins, and press Start to use it on the payphone. After Bart's usual Moe's Tavern prank call (which randomly gives out a different name every time you play - my favorite is Stu Piddidiot), Moe sends a guy in a purple shirt after you. Spray him red, then jump to the top of the payphone. Jump again to land on the wire above it, then walk over the covers to cover up the two purple toys. There will be a human passing by when you reach the next trash can; jump on his head to get the next letter and then spray the trash can.
Get the spray paint can on the windowsill of the next building, then jump over the bee that comes out of the first bush you pass. The rest (save for the next to last one) give you coins, and the last one throws out a coin at a weird angle, so be ready to grab that last one!
Spray the fire hydrant next to it. Go into the door above that awning you just sprayed and buy both the key and the wrench. Use the wrench on the fire hydrant, and you'll spray the awning on the store door red. Use the window to jump on the awning, then jump so that you spray the purple flower vase.
There'll be another human passing by when you reach Mel's novelty store; jump on his head and collect the next letter. Jump on the windowsill, then jump on the window to the door of Mel's. Jump to the upper part of the windowsill (be careful of the blue space mutant) and spray the next flower vase. If you're brave, go for the 1-Up.
Go into Mel's and buy both the cherry bomb and a bunch of rockets (about six or seven should do). You'll definitely need those later in the stage.
The "Toys 'n Stuff" store has another purple flower vase to spray, but first go in and buy a whistle and a magnet. You will definitely need these later. There's also another can of spray paint at the top here if you need it.
The next store is Candy Most Dandy. Spray the flower vase, spray the nearby trash can, then jump off the trash can with a super jump and knock the bucket over to turn the awning over the candy store window red.
The final shop is the pet store. Spray the vase on the windowsill (geez, another one?) then stand on the lower part of the window and throw the cherry bomb near the bird. The bird flies away, but then a dog appears that will attack you if you touch the ground. Stay on the window and it'll go away after a few seconds.
The next human you see is a mutant, so jump on his head. There's a coin in the bush that pops out at a crazy angle, so be ready to run for the coin when you trigger it. When you see the "Keep Off" sign, jump to the sign and you'll be standing on the grass. A cop dressed in purple (wut) will appear, so spray paint him red and get back on the grass to avoid him.
The next thing you have to do is to scare a bird off the Jebediah Springfield statue, and you have to do this if you want to move on. Here's the place to stand if you want to hit this bird with one rocket, because as AVGN said, this part can be frustrating as anything.
Jump over the barrier and onto the skateboard, but before you do so, hit one of the bushes and you'll trigger not one but two coins that you'll have to chase after to pick up. Now you can get on. You'll have to jump over dogs and space mutants while dodging Jimbo (unless you see the skull on his T-shirt, you wouldn't know it's him).
Jump over the barrier and you're back on foot. Spray the fountain, then jump on the head of the next human you see as it's another mutant. Hit the Barney's Bowl-a-rama sign with a rocket (thankfully, this is much easier). Jump on the human that comes shortly afterwards for the last letter. If you find any more humans that are really mutants with the help of the X-Ray Specs, you can get extra points (but not much else). Dodge the bee that comes out of the bush, and grab the coin that comes out of the bush above the two red mutants.
The last three things you'll need to get rid of are the purple window shades of the Springfield Retirement Home, home of one Abraham Simpson. Before you do that, though, go to the Kwik-E-Mart and hit the E with a rocket. Your aim has to be perfect, and if you can pull it off you'll get three extra lives and...the sound test. Nice.
Spray the fountain, then hit the tinted windows with the rocket. As you can see in the video, your aim can be a little less than perfect for these. Heck, Brian Sulpher nearly misses the second one and still gets it. Ha!
Also, if you're low on rockets, you can use the key on the retirement home door to go back to the movie theater. If the timer is at 200 or 400, you get to spray a purple person (the showtimes give a slight clue)! Whoo-hoo! Also, if you use the whistle in front of the last windows of the retirement home, Abe Simpson pops out of the window to throw some coins to you. Be ready to catch them!
To beat Nelson, press B to throw water balloons at him. Jump over the water balloons when he throws them. If Maggie is on screen, jump into the bowling balls to send them Nelson's way and make the boss battle a lot easier.
Anyway, in the first level, the aliens need purple-colored objects to power up...whatever their super-weapon is...
To get the one-up that you see almost immediately, you'll have to make a running super jump off the trash can by letting go of A and immediately pressing A and B at the same time afterwards. (Thankfully, Brian Sulpher explains this to you less than 90 seconds into this, as well as everything else that you need to know before getting deep into this game...or a pile of shit, depending on how you see this game.) After that, jump on the head of the first human you see. Pick up the little flashing thing that the alien leaves behind, and you'll collect a letter to spell out a Simpsons family member's name (in this case, it's Maggie). When you spell the name out completely, they'll be able to help you out in the boss battle.
Anyway, get the spray paint can, then spray the wastebasket at the beginning, as well as the Space Mutant 4 poster next to the theatre entrance. Go to the payphone, look through your inventory for the coins, and press Start to use it on the payphone. After Bart's usual Moe's Tavern prank call (which randomly gives out a different name every time you play - my favorite is Stu Piddidiot), Moe sends a guy in a purple shirt after you. Spray him red, then jump to the top of the payphone. Jump again to land on the wire above it, then walk over the covers to cover up the two purple toys. There will be a human passing by when you reach the next trash can; jump on his head to get the next letter and then spray the trash can.
Get the spray paint can on the windowsill of the next building, then jump over the bee that comes out of the first bush you pass. The rest (save for the next to last one) give you coins, and the last one throws out a coin at a weird angle, so be ready to grab that last one!
Spray the fire hydrant next to it. Go into the door above that awning you just sprayed and buy both the key and the wrench. Use the wrench on the fire hydrant, and you'll spray the awning on the store door red. Use the window to jump on the awning, then jump so that you spray the purple flower vase.
There'll be another human passing by when you reach Mel's novelty store; jump on his head and collect the next letter. Jump on the windowsill, then jump on the window to the door of Mel's. Jump to the upper part of the windowsill (be careful of the blue space mutant) and spray the next flower vase. If you're brave, go for the 1-Up.
Go into Mel's and buy both the cherry bomb and a bunch of rockets (about six or seven should do). You'll definitely need those later in the stage.
The "Toys 'n Stuff" store has another purple flower vase to spray, but first go in and buy a whistle and a magnet. You will definitely need these later. There's also another can of spray paint at the top here if you need it.
The next store is Candy Most Dandy. Spray the flower vase, spray the nearby trash can, then jump off the trash can with a super jump and knock the bucket over to turn the awning over the candy store window red.
The final shop is the pet store. Spray the vase on the windowsill (geez, another one?) then stand on the lower part of the window and throw the cherry bomb near the bird. The bird flies away, but then a dog appears that will attack you if you touch the ground. Stay on the window and it'll go away after a few seconds.
The next human you see is a mutant, so jump on his head. There's a coin in the bush that pops out at a crazy angle, so be ready to run for the coin when you trigger it. When you see the "Keep Off" sign, jump to the sign and you'll be standing on the grass. A cop dressed in purple (wut) will appear, so spray paint him red and get back on the grass to avoid him.
The next thing you have to do is to scare a bird off the Jebediah Springfield statue, and you have to do this if you want to move on. Here's the place to stand if you want to hit this bird with one rocket, because as AVGN said, this part can be frustrating as anything.
Jump over the barrier and onto the skateboard, but before you do so, hit one of the bushes and you'll trigger not one but two coins that you'll have to chase after to pick up. Now you can get on. You'll have to jump over dogs and space mutants while dodging Jimbo (unless you see the skull on his T-shirt, you wouldn't know it's him).
Jump over the barrier and you're back on foot. Spray the fountain, then jump on the head of the next human you see as it's another mutant. Hit the Barney's Bowl-a-rama sign with a rocket (thankfully, this is much easier). Jump on the human that comes shortly afterwards for the last letter. If you find any more humans that are really mutants with the help of the X-Ray Specs, you can get extra points (but not much else). Dodge the bee that comes out of the bush, and grab the coin that comes out of the bush above the two red mutants.
The last three things you'll need to get rid of are the purple window shades of the Springfield Retirement Home, home of one Abraham Simpson. Before you do that, though, go to the Kwik-E-Mart and hit the E with a rocket. Your aim has to be perfect, and if you can pull it off you'll get three extra lives and...the sound test. Nice.
Spray the fountain, then hit the tinted windows with the rocket. As you can see in the video, your aim can be a little less than perfect for these. Heck, Brian Sulpher nearly misses the second one and still gets it. Ha!
Also, if you're low on rockets, you can use the key on the retirement home door to go back to the movie theater. If the timer is at 200 or 400, you get to spray a purple person (the showtimes give a slight clue)! Whoo-hoo! Also, if you use the whistle in front of the last windows of the retirement home, Abe Simpson pops out of the window to throw some coins to you. Be ready to catch them!
To beat Nelson, press B to throw water balloons at him. Jump over the water balloons when he throws them. If Maggie is on screen, jump into the bowling balls to send them Nelson's way and make the boss battle a lot easier.
Okay, okay, here's some real scenes.
The Trash Compactor. Six of the most interesting minutes in the trilogy.
Cantina Band #1
Cantina Band #2
The original theatrical trailer for Star Wars from 1977.
The teaser trailer for Empire Strikes Back.
The original trailer for Return of the Jedi, back when "Return" was "Revenge."
A short scene from the oft-bootlegged, never officially released Return of the Ewok. Yeah, I feel the same way the audience would.
It's a trap!
I would have had more, but the ones I had set up all that time ago are either unavailable or removed by FOX. Gawd, I hate FOX.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
lukenuetzmann plays Super Return of the Jedi - Part 10 of 10
Re-recorded for viewing outside of the USA!
We're not done yet...we still have to destroy the second Death Star.
Seriously, you thought it was over at the end of the movie? Well, in the books that make up the "Expanded Universe," the Empire doesn't die with Vader and the Emperor. Instead it just runs out of steam, starts losing territories, and then nearly comes back to its full power five years later under another Imperial Grand Admiral until our heroes take him and his crew down, then the Empire keeps sucking until the Empire signs a peace treaty with the New Republic. So, for all we know, somebody could take the Death Star under their own control if we don't.
Yes, I've read the early '90s trilogy by Timothy Zahn - Heir To The Empire, Dark Force Rising, and The Last Command. Also, got done with Spectre of the Past before completing this guide. Thanks for asking.
We're not done yet...we still have to destroy the second Death Star.
Seriously, you thought it was over at the end of the movie? Well, in the books that make up the "Expanded Universe," the Empire doesn't die with Vader and the Emperor. Instead it just runs out of steam, starts losing territories, and then nearly comes back to its full power five years later under another Imperial Grand Admiral until our heroes take him and his crew down, then the Empire keeps sucking until the Empire signs a peace treaty with the New Republic. So, for all we know, somebody could take the Death Star under their own control if we don't.
Yes, I've read the early '90s trilogy by Timothy Zahn - Heir To The Empire, Dark Force Rising, and The Last Command. Also, got done with Spectre of the Past before completing this guide. Thanks for asking.
Anyway, let's finish this.
Entering Death Star
Default Character: Lando
This one's not too hard. All you have to do is use the shoulder buttons to rotate the Falcon and blast the TIE Fighters. As you take them down, you'll be able to refill your shields and health. When you reach the end, you'll destroy the power core that keeps the Death Star completely functional.
Whenever you take damage, your life meter doesn't go down. Instead, the white bar for your shields goes down first. When that's empty, then the ship actually takes damage.
If you hear what sounds like a loud thud, you ran into a wall. Stop doing that!
Pressing Select lets you switch from "Blaster" (shooting two shots at a time) to "Turret" (shooting four alternating shots at a time, like with the X-Wing). It kinda helps if the TIE Fighters coming at you give you some trouble.
Exiting Death Star
Default Character: Lando
This is where it gets nasty. Really...really...nasty.
Hold the B button down to boost the entire time, and keep your fingers on the shoulder buttons, because you will be rotating quite a lot. If the fire catches up with the Falcon and the screen turns white, you just died.
The last part where you see the same thing for way too long is the hardest. Try not to run into walls with short taps on the D-Pad, and keep the faith.
When you finally make it out, the second Death Star explodes and the Galactic Civil War is over! You did it!
lukenuetzmann plays Super Return of the Jedi - Part 9 of 10
Wait...what are those red things?
Oh, wait...it's the Crimson Guard!
Oh, wait...it's the Crimson Guard!
Tower
Default Character: Luke
This level may bring bad memories of the last few levels of Super Empire Strikes Back, as it can get disorienting at times and you may find yourself accidentally plummeting to your death because you think you're going in the right direction when you're not.
lukenuetzmann is usually right on the money here, go right until you can't anymore, then go up, then go left. You'll basically be going in a reverse S pattern the entire level, where everything from Imperial Stormtroopers to the enlisted men to the machine guns that appear every couple feet of so to the new flamethrower droids that want you dead. If you find R2-D2, you're on the right track.
Also, if you stand on the edge of the elevators and block, you'll fall off the elevator, yet if you stand in the center and do it, you won't. I blame how the foregrounds are programmed, because that's the only culprit for that which I can think of.
When you meet the robot from the Endor stage (again), you're near the end. Same strategies apply, and this time you won't really have to worry about falling off of a platform. After he goes down, you'll fight off a purple guy in a robe. He looks like a purple recolor of the Crimson Guard, and he goes down in a couple of hits. He'll try to charge at you and also slash you when you're in close. He's not that hard at all.
Tower Entrance - Vader
Default Character: Luke
The Emperor knows you're getting close, and he's sending out the Crimson guard to deal with you. They fight the same way as the purple guy from earlier, and they're not any easier.
The black containers on the floor that look like batteries actually contain Force Power-ups that you can grab if you slash at them. You'll see those on the next level as well.
It won't take very long for you to meet up with Vader. He fights just like he did the first few times you fought him on Super Empire. He falls when you beat him...then it'll be time to face the Emperor.
Emperor's Chamber
Default Character: Luke
I mean, who else is going to fight him?
Anyway, this is not an easy fight. Emperor Palpatine will fly around and shoot Force lightning everywhere. You can deflect it back, but it won't hurt him. The only way to damage him is to use your lightsaber. That's it.
There are several ways you can beat him. You can double-jump around him the entire time and keep Heal equipped, or you can use Vanish and bash at him for as long as you can without impunity until your Force power runs out.
The Force lightning the Emperor shoots around the room actually destroys the stairways, making it easier to accidentally fall to your death. Choose your strategy carefully before you approach the Emperor...remember, getting close to him activates the flag that makes the boss life meter show up and gets the Emperor to start attacking.
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