...and now, the entire game in one sitting, minus commentary! Enjoy!
Looks like Sylvester has kidnapped Speedy's girlfriend (I guess). It's time to take down Sylvester and get her back.
The Desert
The Sand Dunes
In the upper-left corner, you'll see your health as well as the number of hats you have. Hats are used as weapons, and the hearts act as health. You'll lose half a heart when you get hit, and collecting hearts will refill your health. Cakes and cheese will refill half a heart, while a heart will refill one whole heart.
Left and Right let you move left and right, Down ducks, Button 1 throws hats (assuming you have any) and Button 2 jumps.
The spiders will run at you, and the scorpions will strikes at you with their tails. Throw your hats or jump on them from above to take them out.
Along the way, there are holes. Go down them by pressing Down while on top of one. This lets you enter underground chambers where you can beat enemies up as well as get some pick-ups, including hearts for health. The trampolines can get you to higher places, but some of them can get you back above ground.
By going into the underground tunnels, you'll eventually find a key. This will take you to a mouse that has been taken hostage. Hold Right immediately to get to the other end of the room, avoid the bats and free the mouse. By freeing the mouse, you'll reveal the exit, and you'll be able to head to the next stage.
Once you've freed the mouse, get back above ground and head all the way to the right to find the exit.
The Rocky Mountains
You'll have plenty of hazards to deal with here: falling rocks, giant flowers that turn into monsters that you can't destroy when you get too close, and tentacles that come out of the holes to grab at you. Be careful where you're going as you're jumping over gaps in bridges and making your way to the right so you don't take damage. The key will be in front of a bigger hole in the cliffs; grab it and rescue the mouse so you can get to the exit at the end.
The Dry Lands
Be ready to move as soon as you enter this stage, as there will be a buzzard flying around at the top of the stage swooping down at you every chance that it gets. There are holes in the ground, and you'll need to look through every single one of them for the key so you can rescue the mouse and unlock the exit at the far right side of the stage. Make sure you jump on the snakes guarding the holes to defeat them so you can go underground and look for the key. As you're underground, watch out for the enemies that will both figuratively and literally drop in on you.
The first two holes have healing items if you need them, while the fourth hole has the key. The third hole has the exit, which only pops up if you rescue the mouth.
Boss
The boss is Sylvester being carried around by a vulture. (In the Game Gear version, he's wearing a jetpack, and the top of his head looks weird as a result.) Wait for him to drop a stick of dynamite, then pick it up with Down on the D-Pad and throw it upwards with button 2. The sticks of dynamite blow up after a couple of seconds, but it will take a lot of trial and error to throw it upwards at the right time so it blows up directly on Sylvester.
If you take too long to grab a stick of dynamite, wait for Sylvester to drop another one before going back on the attack.
Once you manage to hit Sylvester enough times, Sylvester flies away, and it's on to the second level.
Sylvester's Island of Danger
A Weekend in Hawaii (Part 1)
In this area, you'll be just inches away from lava at the bottom of the screen. If you touch that lava, it's instant death. You'll also have to contend with platforming, big red hermit crabs that will snap at you, moving platforms in the lava that may switch directions a little earlier than you expect...and the lava droplets. These things are the worst...sort of. If you're playing this on Master System, you can see them just fine. They won't be much of a problem on the console version of the game. On Game Gear, where the game is a little more zoomed in and the camera forces Speedy into the center of the screen, it's a different story. Sometimes the lava droplets will show up outside of your field of vision, and you can leap into them and take damage. As a result, the level is harder on Game Gear, and it got harder to the point that I had to switch from Game Gear to Master System and start the whole Let's Play over from scratch. It also doesn't help that the lava droplets don't make a sound until after they land.
At least you'll be able to find the key to rescue the mouse early in the level. So there's that to look forward to after the way-too-long paragraph that I just typed.
A Weekend in Hawaii (Part 2)
In Part 2 of A Weekend of Hawaii, you have more narrow platforms and a lot more opportunities to land in lava. Again, this part is much easier on Master System than on Game Gear, as the Game Gear's screen real estate and how it handles the level makes it look like you're taking leaps of faith every time. Other than that, Part 2 is more of the same from Part 1 except with harder platforming.
The key is near the end of the stage.
The Lake of Piranhas
You'll be in the water here. You can swim in eight directions with the D-Pad, but you're better off sticking to the surface and waiting for the trees in the background to show up a second time as you swim at the top of the water to the right. You'll find the key below where the trees begin again. Once you get the key, keep going all the way to the right. When you reach the end, go down and avoid all the fish, urchins and octopi to get to the exit.
Boss
To beat Sylvester, you'll need to catch the anchors that Sylvester throws with the clam that Speedy is holding. Get the clam below the falling anchors, press Button 1 so that you bounce the anchor back, and hit Sylvester with the anchor. Also, tap Left and Right so you don't slip around everywhere. You can bounce anchors more than once if you're waiting for Sylvester to come to you, so hitting him is a snap as long as your timing is right. Once you hit Sylvester enough times, it's on to the third level.
The Faces of Sylvester
Sylvester's Scaffolding
For this level, you'll be dealing with the spiders on the ground level, a thunder cloud that chases after you and fires lighting bolts from the top of the screen, and a bunch of scaffolds in between. Keep moving to avoid being shocked, and stay at ground level at all times to get the key here, and once you free the mouse, immediately head to the right and don't stop. That way, the thunder cloud never returns.
The River of Paint
In this stage, you'll be able to move around in eight directions with the D-Pad on a tiny raft with a tiny paddle. Aside from the spiked balls that will fly toward you, you'll also need to avoid the laser shots from the guns above and contend with fans that push you back and make moving forward a little more difficult. Thankfully, as long as you're paying attention, getting to the exit won't be too difficult.
Mount Sylvester
At the start of the stage, head all the way to the right and avoid the falling rocks as you go. You'll find a rope, grab it, then hold Up and press Button 1 to throw the rope upwards so you can climb up the mountain. Watch for falling rocks and enemies as you make your way up, as you won't be able to avoid anything as you climb. The key will be at the top, although you may and will have to do some jumping to get to it. The exit will be all the way to the right at the top of the mountain.
Boss
Sylvester will be inflating and sending tiny red balloons at you. You'll need to jump off the moving platform, then jump off the balloons and hit Sylvester in the face with hats. If you run out of hats, the game will give you one to throw at Sylvester. In case you throw it to the left on accident, you can always count on the hats' boomerang-like properties to turn the other direction and hit Sylvester if the hat is at face level. If your timing is good enough, you may be able to hit Sylvester with two hats per pass. Once Sylvester glows funny colors, it's on to the final level of the game.
Inside Sylvester's Lair
The Wall of Peril
At the start, run past the cannons. Watch the bricks that pop in and out of the walls so you can jump on and off of them without falling down, and shoot down the walking cannons. You'll also need to carefully jump on the big wooden log that stick out of the walls so you can carefully make your way to the right. When you reach ground level again, go all the way to the left for the key so you can free the mouse here.
The High Voltage Zone
Jump over the electrical charges that travel across the power lines so you don't get zapped. There are mini-trampolines with some of the electrical machinery here, and you'll want to center yourself on them and The charges will move back and forth, so if you're near the end of a wire, be ready to jump.
Midway through the stage, you'll want to watch out for the barriers that zap in and out. Use your hats to take out the enemy that throws projectiles, as jumping into them will only cause you to take damage. The key will be near the end after the projectile throwing enemy.
The Cheese Factory
The green mouse robots move back and forth. As for the red blobs that stay in place and throw projectiles around, you'll want to move past them entirely, as they cannot be defeated.
When you're on the conveyor belts, watch out for the electrical blasts and wait for them to disappear before moving on.
The key will be above where the exit is at the end.
Boss 1
The boss battle has two phases. For the first phase, you'll want to keep jumping so you don't get shocked from the sparks that come out of Sylvester's futuristic bike, and you'll also want to stay between the columns that shoot electricity downwards so you don't get hit by the electrical blasts that they produce. Unlike the red sparks that Sylvester shoots at you, the big blasts of lightning are instant death.
To defeat Sylvester, you'll need to jump into the bomb that is in mid-air to collect it, then jump up and throw the bomb with Button 2 as the conveyor belt moves to the right. This will allow you to get the bomb to where Sylvester is and hit him every time.
Boss 2
After enough damage, you'll face Sylvester manning a crane while you are jumping from cheese wedge to cheese wedge in a huge vat of liquid cheese. Stay away from any cheese platforms near the edges, as they'll eventually stop existing as platforms and cause you to fall into the vat, which is instant death.
Despite the fact that Sylvester is grabbing at you with a huge digger claw on the crane, the claw does not hurt you, apparently.
There is dynamite on the right side of the screen, just like from the first battle you had with him in the first level of the game. You'll need to grab it, jump up, press Button 2 to throw it upwards at the upper part of the platform that Sylvester is on so that it blows up on it, and all the while, you'll need to time it just right so that the dynamite explodes where you need it to. If you move to the right after throwing the dynamite, it makes this battle just a little bit easier. Thankfully, you don't have to hit Sylvester too many times to beat this battle, and when you do, you'll get your one-screen ending, with the girl kidnapped at the beginning saved. You just beat Cheese Cat-Astrophe Starring Speedy Gonzales!

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