Pat The NES Punk reviews The Three Stooges

It's not often that I post a non-Nerd review...

TheUtilityMan plays The Three Stooges for NES - Part 3 of 3

Will the orphanage be saved?

Fleecum Banker

This just gives you a letter from Fleecum Banker saying you'll never earn enough money. Nothing more.

Pointing Finger

This is just a waste of a day.

In thirty days, either the banker will take the orphanage back, the orphanage pays their rent, the orphanage makes rent and also gets repaired, or the last ending happens but there's enough money for the Stooges to marry the orphanage owner's three daughters. Thankfully, TheUtilityMan one of the better endings! And no credits. Wonderful.

TheUtilityMan plays The Three Stooges for NES - Part 2 of 3

The slapstick continues as The Three Stooges continue to raise money for the orphanage!

Help Wanted: Waiters

To play this, press A or B to throw a pie, then a certain direction to choose which Stooge will throw it. Left is Moe, Up and Down is Curly and Right is Larry. To duck, press that character's direction.

Since Moe is to the left and Curly is on the right...that makes remembering the D-Pad controls a bit of a snap.

If you can throw pies at these guys and last long enough, you can earn $1200! Nice!

The game looks and feels confusing, but once you get some practice in this game can get you a load of cash. You have five hits before the game prematurely ends.

Safe

The "Safe!" space takes you a security company, where a safe falls on Curly. You'll either return the safe and get some money, or you'll have to pay for the safe. :(

Question Mark

This either leads you to money, a letter from Fleecum Banker, or nothing at all.

TheUtilityMan plays The Three Stooges for NES - Part 1 of 3

Shortly before blog #400 on the old GameTrailers blog, the new Three Stooges movie came out. Not surprisingly, it took me until a few days before the movie's release to come to the thought of doing a guide for this, since I forgot about the game's existence. Derp.

Anyway, the Three Stooges have to raise money to...get this...save an orphanage. I know, right? If I didn't know any better, I'd say the Farrelly Brothers played this game on way more than one occasion. At least we won't see some chick in a nun bikini or reality TV hijinx here.

If Ma's Orphanage does not pay the rent within 30 days, the banker will repossess the place and the woman in charge will lose everything.
 

Playing the Game

Each event counts as one day. You much get as much money as you can within 30 events, all of which are based on the classic Three Stooges movies. The endings range from the banker repossessing the orphanage to...well, I'd rather not spoil what the best ending is.

Anyway, on with the show.
 

Boxing

The mousetrap acts as a "spin again" space. Sadly, if you lose one of it, you lose one of your fingers. You have four fingers or "lives," and if you lose them all, the game is over.

Landing on the trophy with the word "Boxing" under it will take you to the boxing match.

You have to beat the champion, Killer Killduff, within six rounds. To do that, you'll have to get Larry to run to the radio shop so Curly can hear "Pop Goes The Weasel." Then, you have to make your way back before the end of the sixth round, as indicated by a timer.

If you can make it back before the end of the match, you'll earn $500.
 

Help Wanted: Doctors

If you land on the space that says "Help Wanted: Doctors," you'll go to the hospital.

Your mission here is to collect as many red crosses as possible in 100 seconds. Use Up and Down to control your speed, and move left and right to avoid obstacles.

If you make it to the operating room at the end of the board, your remaining time will be multiplied by $15, then added to the medical supplies ($5) you pick up.

Your best bet at getting the most money is to stay directly behind the doctor that's in front of you. Getting good at this game will get you a lot of money if you keep getting this one.
 

Money

The $ symbol takes you to a bag of money, which can range from $100 to $1000. At least there's no work involved.
 

Trivia

The "Trivia" square is just that: trivia. Answer a question right and you get $200 for it. Thankfully, Sailor Amaya made a list of every trivia question in the game, which you can find here.

This is obviously the easiest game if you've watched the Stooges's antics over and over again.
 

Cracker Eating Contest

The trophy with the word "Cracker" underneath it is the cracker eating contest. You'll earn $10 per cracker and $50 per bowl.

Use the Control Pad to guide you to crackers, and press A or B to eat it. You'll want to be quick and accurate, as the oysters in the soup are very much alive and will eat them out from under you. If you can keep them from eating the last cracker in the bowl long enough, you can get some serious cash out of this one.

The Stooges' Antics

If you land on the space with the Stooges causing bodily harm to each other, you'll enter the Stooges mini-game. Sadly, you earn no money from it. However, the cursor becomes either faster or slower on your next move, so play it well.

Pressing different combinations causes Moe to do different stuff. If you hit Larry or Moe, you get more time to make your next move. If you miss, you get less.