Sunday, October 25, 2015

Ryoka13x plays Bobby Geht Heim aka Bobby Is Going Home


Besides the plain box and cartridge art that shows a mock-up of in-game footage, there are two others depending on where the cartridge you have comes from: one with Bobby about to run across a bridge in carefree fashion, and another where you see Bobby from behind panicking as giant bats as big as his head and long as he is tall come straight for him.

Guess what? Neither of these alternate pictures describe the game accurately. At all. And if you were expecting something as awesome as the second variation I mentioned, tough titties.

First of all, Bobby is probably the weakest hero ever. Hell, Wally Bear (who I strangely have yet to do a LP of) and Bubsy are stronger than this guy, and they're in perfectly normal places (I guess) where everything in existence wants to kill them. At least they don't die from touching things like walls, butterflies and fire hydrants, unlike our friend Bobby here. I thought the Smurfs game was bad for basically the same thing, but at least you can actually control your jumps a lot better here than in that game, which is basically more praise than this game even deserves since Bobby's jump is really high, and when even butterflies kill you from the slightest touch, there's something dreadfully wrong.

I'm surprised it's even possible for the poor guy to go home. Hell, even the small gaps in the floor that look like either musical flats or the bottom half of a top hat act as invisible water that end up drowning the dude if he just steps into them. Jesus Harvey Christ.

The music? Holy crap, the biggest reason I picked this specific video is to not show off the music. You can barely hear it in this video, which is a freakin' godsend since it's probably the most annoying pre-8-bit set of notes I've ever heard in my life, which is actually saying something. It's not that it's not music, it's just so off key that I question my own humanity for listening to it. I'm dead serious.

The chicken enemies are the worst thing in the game. As soon as they go past the left edge of the screen, they instantly respawn...and if you're standing right where they respawn on the right edge of the screen, you're screwed. What the hell, Bit Corp.

I kinda like the backgrounds in this game, even if they violate the laws of perspective. You get trains, other houses, clouds, and the like. It's slightly picturesque and is probably the most beautiful thing the game is going to give you, but what the hell is with the sun and the clouds? I know the birds move around randomly in the sky whenever you see them, but do the sun and the clouds have to have the exact same movement programming as the birds, especially since they're...y'know...the sun and the clouds?

The bridge that keeps shortening and extending is just the most aggravating part of the whole game. You have to start crossing it normally while it's re-extending and jump to the right when both ends are connected for that one second. If you can actually time it right, you'll be able to land on the other end of the bridging without drowning in a seemingly invisible river.

Once you make it past a few more screens, including one where the chickens are replaced with what look like the springboard from Super Mario Bros. (and there's three of them instead of two), you'll finally make it home. Just enter his house and you'll finally beat the game.

At least the screen where you make it home looks slightly different. There are stars and it's dark, and the stars move like in the Robot Master screen in Mega Man 2. Once you enter the house and stand in the middle of it, you get the proper game over and you can also change the difficulty. Why change the difficulty? I dunno. Level 1 is hard enough as it is.


For some reason, this game is rare, and it only got released in Europe. Why this game was even allowed to be released is just something in itself. It makes the same steps as Pitfall or The Smurfs, but it doesn't even make them half as well, if you can even call this attempt "half as well." The fact that is was even allowed to be released just makes me shake my head. The only reason I would even recommend this game is if you were trying to collect every single official release from 1978 to 1991 in cartridge form. As for playing it...don't even bother. It's good to play for comedic reasons only, but once you beat it on the initial difficulty level you get when you turn the game on, there's basically no replay value. Hell, even the fact that you have to reset the game to continue ticks me off. Stay away. Just...stay away.

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